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| WITHOUT A DOUBT, GOD'S MOST BELOVED ANGEL IN HEAVEN AND THE BRIGHTEST STAR IN HIS SKY: R.I.P ALESSIA MORISANI - 1993 -2011 |
Dearest Alessia:
Today would have been your 19th Birthday. No doubt, it would have been the most spectacular year for you, thus far.
Both your life and death has meant so many different things to many people, and we are all dealing with the loss in our own way. Some of us, (like myself) put the pain on a shelf until a reminder comes along, and then we fall apart all over again.
I know that we're all suppose to find/make our peace with things like this. That we're to gather all the rational reasonings and lessons to learn from all the unexplainable experiences that we endure within our lifetime and give them enriched meaning - but I can't. Or at least, I haven't done so yet.
You're suppose to be here today. Alive and well and getting all "dolled-up" for a kick ass party, that your friends and family would have planned for you. Blowing candles and making wishes on a birthday cake, while everyone around you yells/claps in congratualations and best wishes. Candles today should have been to signify a new chapter in your life. A new year to create yourself and make magic happen. Instead, today we will light candles for you, but in sorrow and remembrance of who you were, the life you lived and what we lost when you left this world.
I could sit here and sugar coat this whole thing right now, but I'm not going to - as you never sugar coated a damn thing in your life, so I will spare you the bullshit.
It hurts me to my very core that God took you away from this life at 18. I'm mad, pissed off, hurt, enraged and hate the entire idea that you are not here to celebrate your life with family and friends. It's only been 6 months since your death, so forgive me. I guess I haven't hit the point where I'm suppose to feel gratitude or enlightenment from the fact that you once lived. I'm still stuck trying to understand why you had to leave at all.
Still... gonna try and have some birthday cake for you today with a smile.
Always know that you were so loved...even by those who never had the pleasure of meeting you. Because you lived...we are forever changed!
HAPPY 19TH BIRTHDAY, ALESSIA!!!!
(I hope that God is throwing you the biggest party in heaven tonight, and that he will somehow let us all be a part of it in some way - by lighting up the entire night sky with stars shining so bright. Dance tonight, till you cannot dance anymore, Babygirl!)
