Friday, July 25, 2014

What Men DON'T Want

Well, it seems that my last blog post (What Women Want) got some attention and it hit home for some of you (lol).  After receiving some feedback and e-mails from our male followers, the fellas voiced that they wanted a list of their own.  Far be it for me to argue with them.
So, I found it only fitting to "do one for the boys" as well.  However, instead of writing about want men want in a woman, they demanded a twist.

Ladies, listen up:  The guys have spoken and they want us all to know a few things that men “DON’T WANT” in women. This should be fun!


# 7

Regardless of what women think, we do NOT want a girl whose main objective is to spend all of our hard earned money.  Listen ladies, we love being “the gentleman” and treating you to things, because you’re special and always want you to feel as such.  However, the feeling goes both ways.  We wanna feel special too!!!! So try picking up the tab every once in a while.  Or, at the very least, make a reach for your wallet from time to time.  More often than not, we will always tell you that “we’ve got it”, but the fact that you made the gesture is what matters to us.

# 6

Ladies, we love it when you’re all put together nicely.  We love the softness of your skin, the intoxicating scent that lingers on your neck and your beautiful smile.  So maintenance of all these things is a vital component of getting (and keeping) any man.  We don’t like sloppy.   Don’t get me wrong, we love the natural look.  However, when that includes things like being:  un-shaven, un-brushed and un-sanitary we MUST draw the line.

# 5

Ladies, YOU ALL KNOW THIS IS TRUE.  So why do you do it?  Men don’t like to be talked down to and “bitched out” about every little thing that comes up in your brain.  We can only sit there and listen to this for so long.  If it happens often enough we learn to tune you out.  This is probably why women constantly ask us if we’re listening to them.  So that there’s no confusion, let me answer this question for all of you right now:  NO!  We’re not!  These days, thanks to social media, it’s not enough that women nag us in person.  Now women do it via text, Face Book and Twitter.  SERENITY NOW!!!

# 4
Men do not like women who MUST be around them 24/7.  We need our own space sometimes too.  We need our own time, to do what we like to do-alone.  We need our “guy time” with other men, to talk, hang out and watch a game.  So it’s very attractive when we meet women with their “own lives and identities” and don’t feel the need to be with us all the time.  We love spending time with you, but we also need some down time to just BE MEN!  Now ladies, so we’re clear, alone time also includes:  NO EXCESSIVE TEXTING, CALLING, BBM or showing up with 3 of your girlfriends to the same bar we’re at; claiming it’s a coincidence.  Sorry, but it had to be said.

# 3

Men are men, so don’t try to change/control us.  You were attracted to us initially and it was “all good” for the first little while.  Now, all of the sudden, we’re not good enough.   What the hell is that all about?  You cannot just come into our lives and tell us who to be friends with, how often we can go out or how to dress.  Now, we don’t claim to be a perfect gender by any means but, it cannot be all bad.  If it was then you wouldn’t be with us.  So appreciate us for who we are and maybe, just maybe, we might even compromise on a couple of things.

# 2

Now I know women don’t believe this, but it’s true.  If a women exudes confidence it will automatically attract a man to her in some way.  Yes, we are a visual species but there’s nothing worse than being with a good looking lady who’s self-conscious and has no brain.   We need to be stimulated in more ways than just physically.   Be confident and comfortable in your own skin and of your worth.  However, understand that there is a fine line between confidence and being full of yourself.   Be confident, but humble.

 # 1

Men are ALWAYS paying for the sins of the past boyfriend.  Frankly, we’re sick of it.  If you have trust issues then maybe you should “check yourself” and give yourself some time, before getting to know someone new.  Just because your last guy cheated on you doesn’t mean that we all will.  You don’t have to become this possessive, controlling, clingy freak of a woman with no self-esteem; just because you’ve been hurt in love before.  News flash!  We’ve ALL been there.  So don’t let your past dictate your future.  It’s not sexy.

So, there you have it.  It seems that we just may still have A LOT to learn about one another!

Thank-you so much to all of you who wrote in with your comments, suggestions and feedback that made this blog post possible.  It was A LOT of fun to write.

Thursday, July 24, 2014


What women want.  Three little words that have had men spun for centuries.  Is it really that hard to figure us out?  Well, even Freud couldn’t do it, so don’t feel bad fellas.

So what is it that truly attracts MOST women to men?  A fancy car? A large bank account?  A summer house in the Hamptons?  The answer truly is: NONE OF THE ABOVE

A real woman wants to know that the man she’s with knows her worth, and is strong enough to walk WITH her in this life.  Although, it’s a little enjoyable leaving ourselves a mystery to most men, I thought I would “defy the sisterhood” a little and let you guys in on a few of our secrets. 



Don’t get me wrong, we love the “boyish charm” and all, but we crave maturity.  There is nothing sexy about a “boy brain” stuck in a man’s body. 


There is nothing sexier than a man who has integrity for himself and others.  Be confident and stand for something.  In today’s society people are far too quick to compromise their morals and values for just about anything.  So show us your depth and character.


Contrary to what you believe, women do NOT want a guy who is “like them”.  If that was the case, then we would ALL be dating ourselves, rather than waste time getting to know you.  Just be YOU!  We want a “man’s man” in all his glory.  Raw & Sexy!!


Stop trying to “boy up” your lady.  Yes, we are emotionally driven creatures with mood swings.  Accept it and move on.  Respect the fact that we need more of a connection to feel comfortable.


Women only expect what you get them used to.  When you first begin dating us, if you consistently call/text us throughout the day, then we are going to expect that this will be the pace during the entire time that we’re together.  If you call us every day for a month and then that stops, we are naturally going to ask “what’s wrong”  So don’t call us clingy because YOU got us used to something you now can no longer deliver.


Don’t ever pretend to be something you’re not.  All we want is to get to know you.  We want to see the REAL you, not a guy you THINK we want to see.  Don’t spend weeks on end telling us that you are NOT a player or that you are NOT like all the other guys we’ve been with.  All that tells us is that you are.   


At the end of the day, it’s what any woman wants.  Don’t think us stupid or play with our minds, because we’re smarter than that.  They don’t call it “women’s intuition” for nothing, fellas. Just treat us the same way you wish to be treated.  It's all we ask.

At the end of the day, us gals are certainly from Venus, while you guys are born on Mars.  It's an inevitable fact.  We're different, and that's ok.  We want you to change us about as much as you want us to change you - NOT AT ALL!  So let's accept our differences and have a blast. 

After all, we should be lovers...not fighters..

Sunday, July 13, 2014



Let’s face it.  There were always too many options when it came to men and women already.  But, in today’s world of social media craziness finding ONE guy or ONE girl and trying for committal is almost impossible.

How or why would anyone want to commit to just one individual for any lengthy period of time when they are constantly tempted with things like on line dating sites, Face Book /Instagram and Twitter scoping?  It’s like a buffet out there.  Why settle for having one dish on the menu, when a buffet allows you to sample as many as you please – any time you wish?

Has modern technology actually made things worse? Is it harder to get ANYONE to commit nowadays because of it?  Sadly, the answer seems to be a unanimous YES!

Even individuals already in committed relationships and marriages that may be going slowly array, are now taking the opportunity to “scope out” new possibilities before leaving their current situation.  They use their current status as a safety net to play the field and sample other things they may like before committing to leaving their situation, if at all.  Yes, it’s not like this kind of thing just started happening but it’s a lot easier these days to have your cake and eat it too.

In my own humble opinion, it’s killed the act of falling in love.  Maybe even permanently!  It’s a bold/harsh statement, I know but, if you actually stop and consider it for a moment you may just agree. 

Imagine these scenarios:

# 1

You meet a special someone one night.  There’s some form of interest, so numbers are exchanged with some promise of a phone call to follow.  You talk and make plans to go out, grab a bite, have a drink or even do a movie night.  All goes impeccably well-great even.  You make plans for date # 2, then #3 and so on.  After date #4 you could safely say that you are now dating.  Then it happens.  You’re on Face Book one day, checking out news feeds and there’s your “dating buddy”.  It seems that they’ve added 5 new random girls/guys to their “friend list” in the past 24-hours.  The next day, the same thing happens and now, curiosity has gotten the better of you.  You check out their profile and see that most of their friends are of the opposite sex (and not necessarily people they know). You look closer and find that they’ve been out on a few other dates (or trying to make some) and they certainly don’t involve you!  You decide to have a conversation about it.  The reply that follows:  “We’re just friends, honestly” “I’ve known this person forever and just ran into them and decided to catch up on old times, one night”


You decide to give the “online dating” thing a try.  You make a great profile, add in some nice pictures and begin your search.  You connect with someone, and begin your private conversation-trying to get to know them better.  You decide to hang out and go on a date.  Things go very well.  You decide that it would be cute to hop on line and send them a little “I had a great time with you tonight” email from where it all began – your online dating site.  Only, they are already online.  Rational thought takes over and for a split second you’re thinking:  “Awe, they had the exact same Idea!” So, you wait a minute or two for an incoming email from them.  After 20 minutes nothing.  You’re now sitting there, staring at your screen.  They’re status is still showing them as “online” and your inbox is empty.  Then, irrational thought takes over and you send them an email.  You start off causal, thanking them for the evening and relating how much fun you had and just for kicks, you throw in what a coincidence it was to find them on line too.  The responses could be one of the following:  You don’t get one or they write back: “Oh I was just checking my emails, I had fun to!”  For the next few days to follow, they are online again and again and barely acknowledge your existence.


You both meet and like each other a lot.  There is definite chemistry, so the pursuit of one another follows.  After some time you realize that the phone calls have become less frequent, the texts throughout the day have come to a screeching halt and you’re both spending less and less time together.  This ways on your mind as the days /weeks pass, so you decide to confront the situation and get some answers.  You find out they never wanted anything serious and are happy to just be “casually dating” for now.  You ask how many other people they are “casually dating” and the reply is never definite but rather, “just a few people, randomly.”


You’re dating someone who is consistently online.  They are somewhat of a “social media junkie” and yet there status is always the same.  When you first began speaking you could see their updates and the quirky/funny posts they randomly made as the days went by.  You even shared some harmless banter back and forth about some of them –having fun hanging out on occasion together on line.  They’d be the first ones to “like” your status changes and comment on your pictures and all was well.  Then you see something one day that brings some thoughts of doubt to your mind and ask a question or two, regarding what you’ve read or seen online.  They assure you that it’s nothing, harmless in fact and that all is well.  Then, the days and weeks that follow are different.  The online banter stops.  They are no longer even looking out for you online to catch up, let alone aware of any status changes/updates you make at all.  Oddly enough, you know that they are spending the same amount of time on line but now, you can no longer see any of their updates, comments or posts whatsoever.  You think it’s strange but say nothing.  You have now entered the “custom friend zone” This means that they have most likely costumed your friend status connection with them to not being able to see what goes on with them, on their page.  It’s all done privately.  There is no discussion about it, but since you had your little “talk” about their content, they’re making sure it never happens again.

As far as I'm concerned, social media has now become the new "Ashley Madison" arena of your life.  A place where your mate can come into, unwind and flirt shamelessly with whomever they wish, at any time-without you even being the wiser.  More than likely, you will not even notice you're losing them until it's too late.  The realm of cheating and break ups have increased since social media hit the scene.  As if it wasn't bad enough before, now...we've made it even easier! 

The art of love may have finally met its match!  How can it possibly compete? The answer is simply, it can’t!