Sunday, July 13, 2014



Let’s face it.  There were always too many options when it came to men and women already.  But, in today’s world of social media craziness finding ONE guy or ONE girl and trying for committal is almost impossible.

How or why would anyone want to commit to just one individual for any lengthy period of time when they are constantly tempted with things like on line dating sites, Face Book /Instagram and Twitter scoping?  It’s like a buffet out there.  Why settle for having one dish on the menu, when a buffet allows you to sample as many as you please – any time you wish?

Has modern technology actually made things worse? Is it harder to get ANYONE to commit nowadays because of it?  Sadly, the answer seems to be a unanimous YES!

Even individuals already in committed relationships and marriages that may be going slowly array, are now taking the opportunity to “scope out” new possibilities before leaving their current situation.  They use their current status as a safety net to play the field and sample other things they may like before committing to leaving their situation, if at all.  Yes, it’s not like this kind of thing just started happening but it’s a lot easier these days to have your cake and eat it too.

In my own humble opinion, it’s killed the act of falling in love.  Maybe even permanently!  It’s a bold/harsh statement, I know but, if you actually stop and consider it for a moment you may just agree. 

Imagine these scenarios:

# 1

You meet a special someone one night.  There’s some form of interest, so numbers are exchanged with some promise of a phone call to follow.  You talk and make plans to go out, grab a bite, have a drink or even do a movie night.  All goes impeccably well-great even.  You make plans for date # 2, then #3 and so on.  After date #4 you could safely say that you are now dating.  Then it happens.  You’re on Face Book one day, checking out news feeds and there’s your “dating buddy”.  It seems that they’ve added 5 new random girls/guys to their “friend list” in the past 24-hours.  The next day, the same thing happens and now, curiosity has gotten the better of you.  You check out their profile and see that most of their friends are of the opposite sex (and not necessarily people they know). You look closer and find that they’ve been out on a few other dates (or trying to make some) and they certainly don’t involve you!  You decide to have a conversation about it.  The reply that follows:  “We’re just friends, honestly” “I’ve known this person forever and just ran into them and decided to catch up on old times, one night”


You decide to give the “online dating” thing a try.  You make a great profile, add in some nice pictures and begin your search.  You connect with someone, and begin your private conversation-trying to get to know them better.  You decide to hang out and go on a date.  Things go very well.  You decide that it would be cute to hop on line and send them a little “I had a great time with you tonight” email from where it all began – your online dating site.  Only, they are already online.  Rational thought takes over and for a split second you’re thinking:  “Awe, they had the exact same Idea!” So, you wait a minute or two for an incoming email from them.  After 20 minutes nothing.  You’re now sitting there, staring at your screen.  They’re status is still showing them as “online” and your inbox is empty.  Then, irrational thought takes over and you send them an email.  You start off causal, thanking them for the evening and relating how much fun you had and just for kicks, you throw in what a coincidence it was to find them on line too.  The responses could be one of the following:  You don’t get one or they write back: “Oh I was just checking my emails, I had fun to!”  For the next few days to follow, they are online again and again and barely acknowledge your existence.


You both meet and like each other a lot.  There is definite chemistry, so the pursuit of one another follows.  After some time you realize that the phone calls have become less frequent, the texts throughout the day have come to a screeching halt and you’re both spending less and less time together.  This ways on your mind as the days /weeks pass, so you decide to confront the situation and get some answers.  You find out they never wanted anything serious and are happy to just be “casually dating” for now.  You ask how many other people they are “casually dating” and the reply is never definite but rather, “just a few people, randomly.”


You’re dating someone who is consistently online.  They are somewhat of a “social media junkie” and yet there status is always the same.  When you first began speaking you could see their updates and the quirky/funny posts they randomly made as the days went by.  You even shared some harmless banter back and forth about some of them –having fun hanging out on occasion together on line.  They’d be the first ones to “like” your status changes and comment on your pictures and all was well.  Then you see something one day that brings some thoughts of doubt to your mind and ask a question or two, regarding what you’ve read or seen online.  They assure you that it’s nothing, harmless in fact and that all is well.  Then, the days and weeks that follow are different.  The online banter stops.  They are no longer even looking out for you online to catch up, let alone aware of any status changes/updates you make at all.  Oddly enough, you know that they are spending the same amount of time on line but now, you can no longer see any of their updates, comments or posts whatsoever.  You think it’s strange but say nothing.  You have now entered the “custom friend zone” This means that they have most likely costumed your friend status connection with them to not being able to see what goes on with them, on their page.  It’s all done privately.  There is no discussion about it, but since you had your little “talk” about their content, they’re making sure it never happens again.

As far as I'm concerned, social media has now become the new "Ashley Madison" arena of your life.  A place where your mate can come into, unwind and flirt shamelessly with whomever they wish, at any time-without you even being the wiser.  More than likely, you will not even notice you're losing them until it's too late.  The realm of cheating and break ups have increased since social media hit the scene.  As if it wasn't bad enough before, now...we've made it even easier! 

The art of love may have finally met its match!  How can it possibly compete? The answer is simply, it can’t!

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