Friday, May 30, 2014


Whenever I’ve tried It’s always felt like I had one foot on ice
And the other in mid step.  Unbalanced and scary.
Every time I try to love someone I hold my breath and try to believe that this time will be different.
I try to look at you with different eyes, the way I used to be… the way I used to love
Like the girl that I was, when I was 18

A time when there were no walls or fallen empires
When the mirrors were smooth and clean, bestowing a reflection of purity, rather than the tainted reflections of today.

Now, all I see are shattered pieces of glass, that hold me like a wicked echo to a painful past.
You say that you can change that.  Re-write my love song. But I’ve heard those lyrics before.

I’m not the easiest person to love and I never will be.
And I fear that once you realize that, you won’t be here tomorrow. 
Stealing whatever I have left as you leave in the dead of the night.  So this is how my heart stays one step ahead of the tide
For all these reasons I don’t want to fall in love.  So your waves won’t crash around me when you go
I can’t live within shadows anymore.  I long for the light.
There could be a time when I fall weak and believe what your eyes might say.
That you could teach me how to be loved in a different way.

I wish I could count how many times I’ve gotten caught up in that gaze.
That daze of promises, of wine and roses and been swept away. Such a sweet escape
Then one day, I had to watch it all slip away like running water from my hands
At times, I feel like I can give myself just one more second chance?
But, there have been thousands already taken.
For you see, putting my trust and faith in love has only hurt me.
Yet, you say that you will be here, if only I’d let you. I try… but I am and will always be afraid

Of falling…falling in love..


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