I openly admit that I don't know the first thing about dating in today's world.
Being out of the "dating scene" for the past little while, I feel like A LOT has changed. I'm completely and utterly dumb-founded at the lack of "love and relationship" opportunities out there. Do they even exist anymore? I feel like trying to find love these days is like entering the twilight zone. It's become a war out there: The Heart Givers vs. The Heart Killers.
A month before I turned 40 (as anyone who has turned can attest to), I began thinking about all the things I didn't have in my life. Love was definitely at the top of that list. But oddly enough, I never found myself without a man present There have always been "boyfriend place-holders" Yet still, no real love to speak of. I realized at that moment that I was afraid to be alone. It's something that I've always feared. My biggest fear, actually. Which is probably why I've jumped in and out of relationships (and I use the term loosely) all my life. Because the fear of being alone was just too much to stand. Something I think a lot of people out there go through. So we settle. Funny how fear can play with you like that. So for the next 2-years, I was going to learn how to be "okay" with being alone.
Well, here I am, 2-years later - alone! But, I've learned and realized A LOT during this time. I think there are 2 very important lessons that we should all learn (unlike myself) very early on in life to survive:
The first thing would have to be self-love. I know, cliche right? How did something so simple escape me, I will never know. I lost out in loving the essence of me a very long time ago. But, happy to report that it's something that I practice every day now. I'm grateful for all the beauties I have. Beauties both seen and unseen.
The second thing would be that everyone should know what it feels like to be "okay" with being alone. It teaches you so much. Your awareness of everything heightens. I never could have imagined how strong I could be, all by myself, until I forced myself to try. You condition yourself to be a solider and your life is a war to be won. No one can own the definition of you. The power of one is so magical. I never would have guessed it to be so.
So now that I have bettered myself on all playing fields, become this strong entity all on my own, I'm ready! Ready to find that kind of love I've always deserved and known to be out there. The only thing is - I think everyone else is on a different turf.
Is it me, or is no one actively seeking a relationship these days? It seems like the word itself has become an enigma. The dating pool has been filled with married people "looking for the extra", the single people only seeking "casual dates, filled with a lot of sex and multiple partners, but want nothing serious" and my personal favorite: "20 something year olds, that wish to be your "Boy-toys" while you look for the love of your life" It's really tragic out there. Especially for all of us "hopeless romantics" out there. All 10 of us, tops!
I hate to say this but LOVE as we once knew it, is DEAD! At least that's what I'm being made to believe. Trying to stay hopeful in a sea of all this nonsense is really tough. I want to be wrong in my assumption but it doesn't look good. Especially with things like: Social media and online dating sights. I'm personally afraid for my heart out there, in today's world. The odds don't look favorable.
Would love to hear your thoughts on this one.
Thanks for always listening!
Girlfriend I hear you loud and clear. I just got married last year. It was really tough out there. All people are looking for is sex, and not just the men ....the women too. So you're right! It's definitely changed out there. Love is just a fairytale that some people are lucky enough to find. Those who are willing to make the effort to anyways. Good for you for taking time out to find and love yourself first thought. It all starts there!
ReplyDeleteLinda Styth
It's not the same anymore. it's more love of possessions, money, and greed. And don't even talk to me about dating lol. However, something comes along when you least expect it.
ReplyDeleteIf someone as gorgeous as you are (in and out) cannot find love Lord help the rest of us!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteHonestly, it's out there (as the saying goes) you've just gotta look for it or wait until it finds you. I think these bloody dating sites are all filled with stalkers, pedophiles and rapists if you ask me. Who the hell wants to find someone online...or in a bar....etc. I'm sure you've got a ton of friends so have them set you up. That's what I've done. I found my gf through my buddy's workplace. His wife had a friend and the rest is history.
Bill Moore
I think dating is like anything else in life. You win some and you lose some but it doesn't mean that we won't try it. If everybody gives up on love what kind of world would there be? Keep on track.
ReplyDeleteJulia
Most people are casual daters these days because there is too much hassle doing anything else! Women can barely make up their minds as to what they want in a man. I'm tired of keeping up, so I date casually and have sex as we both see fit, when the opportunity presents itself and we are both willing. It's just easier. No muss, No fuss. Less complications that way. Why have a committed relationship and feel COMMITTED?? No thanks. I like my life to remain just that MINE!
ReplyDeletePeter F.
I really liked the honesty of this article. It was raw and real and you weren't afraid to put your own personal spin on it about your life. Reading your past articles I like that you do that (let your readers in) You're a pretty courageous chick! Good for you for keeping it real.
ReplyDeleteNadia
Love bites! Good blog Gia!
ReplyDelete