Saturday, April 9, 2011



I've been reading a lot lately.  My main focus has been old themes of  love, life and religion. 
I miss true love stories.  I miss stories of how people find themselves in life and how religion plays a role in all of it.  There is something about today's world that lacks these elements.  Therefore, I have chosen to get lost in the words and worlds of my favourite authors. 

Being thrown back into the world of dating and self-reflection once again, I cannot help but be constantly reminded that most people just don't have time for romance or creating themselves anymore. 
Everywhere I look all people seem to be doing is racing off to work (more than likely a job they hate) and serial dating just anyone because they cannot be bothered with the desire it takes to make real connections.
So we resort to online/phone dating to meet people.  We spend much of our hard earned dollars to punch in silly answers to silly questions in surveys that so called "dating experts" have made up-claiming that it's fool proof.  I don't know about you, but I've seen some of the couples that these places have thrown together and well, there is no other way to say this:  WHAT THE HELL WERE THEY THINKING?????

Yes, of course some situations really do work out this way.  I have many friends who have found their "soul mates" online and could not be happier, but I think it's a rare thing.  I am not frowning upon the idea entirely.  All I'm saying is why can't we just "make time" to go out and meet Mr/Ms. Right anymore?  Of course times have changed.  Yes, people are "crazy busy" with work or taking care of loved ones.  I understand all of that, but are we not worth spending time on?  Making time to find love is just as important as making an effort to keep your body healthy.  It's just as important as your commitment to your job.  So why don't we go back to meeting people to old fashion way? 

Most will argue that there aren't many people of substance, roaming around town anymore.  I beg to differ.  I think there are, but we are just too busy to notice.  We are all too busy to take even an hour out of our days to catch up with friends at a local coffee house or pub.  It takes up too much time to have a weekly dinner with people at a restaurant.  Or to talk a walk on your lunch hour and enjoy some sunshine and "people watch".  To go dancing or for drinks every now and again, because it's fun.  In doing all things, the potential of possibilities of finding someone are endless.

 Nevertheless, we don't do it, because we're tired, busy or just simply lazy.  Yet, we will sit in front of our computers, browsing through hundreds of ads, desperately seeking someone who will jump out at us and peek our interests.  Or sit on these dating phone lines for hours going through meaningless voice box after meaningless voice box, to find the one voice that we can fall in love with.  Then, we will spend days or weeks trying to get to know them.   Emailing pictures of ourselves and hoping they find us attractive enough to write back to.  Trying to develop a comfortable rapport so that we can eventually meet them with all of our insecurities in toe.  We don't have time to go out and meet people, but we sure as hell have time to do all this right?  I'm exhausted just tying it out, let alone to live it. 

When I'm ready to do so, I would love to find someone the old fashion way.  Not to say that I will burn any other avenues, but I'd rather give focus to going out there and exploring people.  It will not only find me love (hopefully) but it will get me out into the world to share my life with friends and family as well.

 As a society, we have forgotten what it means to really connect with one another -without the Internet.  The way I see it, finding love this way will push me to give myself a break from the daily stresses in life.  To push myself to remember what's really important, and that is making time for me.  I'm not saying go "looking for love" because I don't really think it happens that way anyway.  Yet, being out enjoying my life with family and friends, in pubs, restaurants, nightclubs, social events/gatherings or even church will expose me to like minded individuals.  At the end of it all I can reflect back on these times and say that at the very least I have made memories, spending an hour or two with people I love, living life.  Rather than spending that same amount of time (or more) locked away in my office or home, on a computer.  Looking through endless ads, filled with pictures and words of individuals who could very well be posting someone else's images and vibes. (tell me that doesn't happen a million times a day)

As for myself, I think I'm worth the effort to try.  I'm a hopeless romantic and a writer after all, so having a "story" to tell my children and theirs someday of how I met their dad/grandfather is really special to my heart. I know exactly what I want and what I am looking for.  Thanks to all of my failed relationships I also know what I absolutely don't want as well.

I know some people get very sad and discouraged when they are put in a position to find love again, but I suppose I'm different.  It's exciting to know that "my guy" is still out there waiting to be found.  Even if I don't manage to find my version of love in this life time, at least I will be content knowing that I did what I could to be open to it.

1 comment:

  1. "Made in Heaven" was on TV last night. Made me think of you, your writing, etc...