Thursday, September 29, 2011

It's A Beautiful Life

Life, don't ever throw it away.

As human beings, we come to understand that life is not always perfect.  We accept the unfairness of it all and learn to push through the bad times because there is always something better to look forward to, somewhere down the line.  At least that's what most of us believe right?  We must, what else is there?  To think anything else would be the devastation of the human race as we know it.  So whether we voice our "faith that life is generally good" aloud or not, I think we all hold true to that fact somewhere deep within.

Yesterday, I found out that a dear friend of mine has been dealing with a very traumatic time in her life.  Her daughter has been diagnosed with cancer.  She is 10 years old.  A mutual friend thought that I should know about the situation, as it has been going on for some time.

I instantly felt like someone had just knocked the wind out of me.  I crouched over, bringing my head to my knees and tried with all my might to take a deep breath, only I couldn't.  How could I possibly breath with no air?  I began to cry because I was so enraged at the news.  In that moment I felt so helpless and quickly thought that this is exactly what my friend must be feeling.  I couldn't help but be angry.  The entire ordeal didn't make any sense.  Then again, it never does when it involves a child.
As adults we go about our lives and make the best choices we can.  Sometimes it works out and other times not so much.  However, we've still lived/experienced some quality of life (or at least we hope) before something bad happens.  She's 10.  I mean, why should anyone know this kind of pain, fear and disappointment at this stage in the game?  I'm not trying to say that cancer (or other diseases) at any age is easy-of course not.  Yet, for some reason it's a deeper blow when it happens to a child.

If you've ever been to "Sick Kid's Hospital" in Toronto, you know exactly what I'm talking about.  I used to walk their halls daily for 3 years and would always get this pain in my stomach when I did.  There was such a sense of remorse and unfairness that filled my mind with each corridor that I passed, that I couldn't bare to be there for long periods of time.  At the same time, there was always laughter that could be heard, spreading down each hall way.  Children's laughter-the best kind as far as I'm concerned.  There have been some really great things that have happened there.  Miracles, courage and faith are all motto's to live by within those walls.  However, it's hard to believe anything when it happens to you.  Or rather, it takes time to digest the news and adopt this way of thinking, but adopt it we must!  For what else could we possibly believe but that everything will be alright in the end.
I've always been the believer of the motto:  "Think of the worst and hope for the best"  Not something I'm proud of but it's all I can do when faced with obstacles of any nature.  I immediately become consumed and overwhelmed with it all, analyzing every possible scenario to death.  Then, when I'm completely and utterly exhausted with it all I pray.  I pray that God is right and I am in fact strong enough to carry this cross which has confronted my life at present, and begin to walk.  Slowly.
The truth is, it's not easy to be faced with this kind of thing and just think positively.  It's just not.  We want the best.  We hope, wish and pray for it, but it's not easy to put a face on (for ourselves or others) and just take it.  I think anyone would be lying if they said otherwise.  The uglier truth of it all:  There is no cure.  Will there ever be one? 
Folks, in the blink of an eye, from one second to the next, our lives can dramatically change for better or worse.  Think about your lives.  The people within them.  The choices we make.  The people that we've truly become.  The way we live.  Are you happy?  Are you really "living/enjoying" all you have or just merely "existing"?  Are you content with what you have, knowing that it's truly enough?  Or do we work/struggle with the 60+ hour work weeks, in hopes to attain things we don't really need?  Do you live your dreams or simply wish them?  Do you give thanks for each day or just wish the day to be done?  These are all things to think about.  If you think hard enough, you will hear the answers you need to hear. 
You want to know what I find funny?  The fact that it always takes something life-altering to happen, in order for us to be grateful for all we have (little or otherwise).  Only then do our lives seem/feel so abundant.  It's a very sad thing!  So don't want for something to happen to you to find meaning and significance in your life.  Just live.  The rest ( i believe) will take care of itself!

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