Friday, September 16, 2011

Love Thy Self

I always find it so fascinating just how much I learn and discover about myself on a daily basis.  After 37 years of being, I just thought I automatically knew exactly who I was by default however, this is simply not the case.  I suppose this is what it truly means to grow within yourself.  More and more I'm realizing that the person I may have been a year ago, is simply not the individual I am today.  Hell, at times, I'm not even the girl I was an hour ago.  I guess it's all relative to one's situation or what we go through on a daily basis that really makes us who we are.  It's not just a moment in time, but rather a bunch of small instances within many events that shape who we truly are.

As I begin my journey of writing my very first book, I find myself revisiting many different times in my life.  Some of which have made me laugh, and others that have made me cry.  I know that many people say that they have lived with no regrets or remorse when looking back at their lives, but I find it hard to believe such a statement to be true.  Perhaps it's just a very cool thing to say to make others envious, but is it really true?  I mean we're human and that automatically entails that we faulter from time to time, making mistakes along the way.  We aren't perfect in any way, so how can anyone honestly say that they have never regreted even one small second of their existance? 

Of course we can learn from them and set moments as examples of how to lead the rest of our lives, sure.  We can also say that we are content and have made peace with those indiscretions because they've made us who we are today, but do we honestly believe that we don't regret them?  Can we truthfully say that if we were granted the opportunity to go back in time and change one moment, one event from our lives we wouldn't?  Are there some who would forefit the wish because they are fine with all that's transpired?  If there are then I would truly love to meet these individuals.

I for one, have had many regrets within my life.  Not to say that i would care to change all that's happened  however; there are definitely a couple of moments I would change in a heartbeat if I could.  Neverthelss, I must say that I am thankful for all the times that I have been granted upon this earth.  I have fallen, yes but am grateful for all the lessons I have learned because of those events.  I can honestly say that I would have never known just how much strength and love I had, both for myself and others, if I had not encountered these trying times.  I wish sometimes that I could have learned my lessons in a different manner but a gift is a gift in any form.  So I am grateful nonetheless.

At this particular stage in the game of my life, I'm learning about "self-love and self-forgiveness"  something I haven't really known for a very long time.  Somehow I've forgotten how necessary the two can be.  Luckily for me, I have a fantastic group of friends and family who kindly remind me everyday.  I will not say that I have mastered either one just yet, but I'm learning to do so a little more each day.

Today, I learned the following:  That you should always be yourself, truthfully.  Always accept yourself, gratefully.  Always value yourself , joyfully and forgive yourself honestly and full-heartedly.  This is what it means to love myself right now, in this moment.

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