Sunday, December 11, 2011
Do you want to know what drives me utterly mad?
The world (along with the people in it at times) telling anyone that they cannot do /attain something in life.
At some point in the various journeys we embark on in our lives, we get to a part where we feel like giving up. Sometimes we give up before we even start and other times we give up just before we are about to make that huge break-through that we have been putting so much effort in to achieve. Now, it’s one thing to put this feeling upon yourself, but an entirely different one to have individuals voice it to you.
I woke up early the other morning to catch up on some writing deadlines I had. So I took both myself and my laptop to a local coffee house for a change of atmosphere. As I tried to work my thoughts kept being interrupted when I found my mind wandering over to the conversation at a nearby table. There, sat a father and a son enjoying their breakfast, while the son was eagerly telling his dad about his plans surrounding his future. Suddenly, the son's excitement was cut short, when his father interjected and threw down his two cents. Now, to give you (my readers) a little history on the earlier conversation the two were having, it seems as though the son wants to continue to follow his dream of being an artist (painting). He was telling his dad that his school guidance counsellor had recommended that he apply to a school of the arts where they could help him shape and nurture his talent/dreams further.
Sadly, it went from a happy moment into a cold lecture by his father, about what he thought about his sons plans and dreams. The first line: " God, you really are not going to even try amounting to anything in this life are you?" Immediately followed by: “Stop believing in fairy-tales. boy. You will never sell anything you create, you're not good enough/smart enough"
At that exact moment, I looked up from my lap top and looked over at them. The son’s face/expression was beyond words. It was as if the fire in his soul had been extinguished, and I swear that if I listened hard enough, I’m sure that I could hear his heart breaking aloud. The rest of the conversation was one sided, as the son listened to his father. However, I don’t believe he heard much more after the sentence I mentioned to all of you above.
I’ve never understood that. How people can (or think they have the right to) rip someone’s dreams apart like that. Now generally, I know parents mean well. They do have their child’s best interest at heart and simply say/do things, to protect them from the bigger bully –life. At least you’d think so right? So I get that part. However, I still don’t get why parents (or anyone for that matter) continuously tell their children what they are (and are not) capable of doing. I mean, if a parent doesn’t think that their child can “attain the world” and do anything they set their minds to, who the hell will? Even if your child looks at you with the most ridiculous “life-plan” ever, let them. At least they’re thinking…dreaming of an exciting future for themselves. Maybe I’m wrong in this notion, but it’s what I feel. I know that if one day I am ever blessed with children and they look at me with this silly big grin on their face, while telling me they are going to rule the world someday; my remark to them will always be: “Damn right you are!!!” Whether they do or not, who cares. Just be supportive.
I know what it feels like to have people tell you that you’re not good enough. Sadly, most of us have. Yet, while some are telling me negative things, I’m lucky to have great people in my life who off set the bullshit! So when the world says, “Give up Gia, you’re never going to get this. You’re never going to be this”, my loved ones say “Try it one more time”. Thanks to these experiences, whenever I am surrounded by “dream bashers” there is a switch inside me that automatically goes off. Yes, it cuts like a knife when you hear the negativity. It stings every time. But each day, it gets easier and easier to bounce back from it. Then, once the tears clear, look out. Because there is nothing I love more than someone…anyone telling me that I cannot fulfill something. Not only will I make it but you better not be anywhere in my way while I do, simply because I will run you over with my emotions, derived around the adrenaline of my dream. A powerful sentiment, but that is just how it is. I have no time/use for this kind of nonsense. We’re all human beings…all of us. So what gives anyone of us the right to crush each other? NONE! A parent especially. Parents should always be in a child’s corner when it comes to this sort of thing. Unconditional love and support-period! Good sound judgment and direction? Always welcome. Making fun of your child and ridiculing them for having the guts to dream of being something/following what they believe to be their calling within this life? Unacceptable!!!
I found myself sitting there, while the rest of the conversation between the Father and son ensued. Growing more and more angry and frustrated with all I heard with each passing moment. Finally, it was over. I looked up once again, in the son’s direction and he looked literally beaten. Beaten by all the hurtful words that were said. His reality as he knew it, crushed and forever tarnished. What made it worse, was that the Father (on occasion) emphasized his words to his son with laughter, while he told him that his dreams would only ever be that… a dream. Well, I had had enough. I ejected the CD that I was listening to from my lap top. Placed it in my hand and began to pack up my things, to leave for work.
As I put on my coat and picked up my things, I realized that I had tears in my eyes. For this was a road that I had been down MANY, many times in my life while following my own dreams. As I walked by the two men, I found myself slowing down. Thoughts rushing through my brain at a million miles a second. Then I gripped my hand. “The CD” I thought. So I stopped, right in front of their table. I looked up at them and they at me. I took the CD from my hand and passed it to the son. He looked at me with confusion. All I could say was: “ Take it and play #7 for your Dad, very loudly. Maybe he’ll get it” I then walked away.
I wonder if they did. I wonder if the Father got the message, because I know the son would understand it once he heard the words. Then, I thought: “Now I have to go out and get myself another damn Eminem CD” After all, it was my favorite one! Still, buying a new one would be worth it. It’s a small price to pay for having a possible hand in “sticking it to the man” after what I had witnessed today.
To all of us out there who are constantly told that we will never be what we set out to be, I say "f*&k them! Never allow ANYONE to own your dreams or the definition of who you are. You have a God-given right to walk this earth in search of the meaning/reason for being here. We all have a calling and it's our duty to find it. When we do it is our responsibility to grab hold of it and make it real enough to share it with the world. So always surround yourself with positivity and leave the negative voices behind. Instead of letting ignorant people's thoughts consume you, let them fuel you and grab hold of the stars. For one day, they will see you shining in all your glory. Only then (when they see your name in lights and hear those around them shouting it) will they realize who you were meant to be. They will try become a part of you then. They always do come back. When they do, don't hate them for being too stupid to see your potential then, but rather thank them for giving you the adrenaline you needed back then to make it with all their words of hate!!!