Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Pages Waiting To Be Born

I've been toying with the idea of writing my first book for a long time now.  The idea both excites and scares me to no end.  I suppose it's because a book exposes the author on so many different levels.  What excites me is thinking about what my words would smell like in printed ink.  Running my fingers over the hard cover and seeing my name next to a title.  However, what scares me is having others look at my naked work and hating it.  I would definitely be one of those Writers that would hide behind the table displaying her books, to see other people's reactions to it.  Biting my finger nails while my heart beats a mile a minute in my chest; anticipating the fate of my attempts. 

If I were to tell you just how many times I began to sit and write this "imaginary book"  I don’t think anyone would believe me. The attempts have been numerous but the outcomes…all the same. I begin with great thoughts then translate them into words my imagination and spirit would be proud of. Then, after several paragraphs I will erase it all because I think it sounds silly.

I suppose that is the biggest flaw many writers have:  The fact that we are our own worst critic. Our moments, private and our words incredibly meaningful to our own soul. The mere thought of strangers dissecting them piece by piece is enough to make a writer go mad.

One of my greatest Mentors once told me that all thoughts are relevant. All words meaningful and that as long as you write them down they could never possibly be forgotten. He also said that all great writers begin feeling the same insecurities of their written words as I am feeling of mine but the most important thing is to write them down nonetheless. To write only for me and the waste basket – as if no one else will ever see it but the creator. That, is the only way true art is born. Therefore, this book would definitely be my first and I hope one of many more to come. Someday soon I will take the wise man’s advice, get out of my own way and  leave myself open to the magic.

I have a good feeling of how I would like it to flow.  The book will be made up of simple words written by a simple girl (moi) who wants nothing more in this world than to live it extraordinarily so. A life of happiness, health, love, humility, balance and inner peace. For there is nothing more rich than living this way. I would truly hope that all those who read it will appreciate and capture its essence.

It would be all about life and its lessons.  All the good, all the bad and everything in between. All of this for the sheer hope that it will perhaps help others lead a great life.

At the end of the day, I write because I wish to be remembered to others for all time.  I would like to think that my words can somehow find those who need them most, at the very moment of their lives when they need to hear them.  If anything I write to touche someone's soul and allow their hearts, minds or spirits to accomplish great things as a result.  Only then I will ever consider myself truly rich.  That one thouht alone gives me more than any dollar could ever buy.  That being said, I don't write for the money-ever.  I write for me and for all of you.  For when life is all said and done, people will forget everything about you; except the way you made them feel. 

So regardless of my fears, I believe I am ready to embark upon this journey. 

Wish me much luck my dear friends - I shall need it!

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