Sunday, September 19, 2010
I'M NOT AFRAID!
Music and words have always been the truest loves of my life. I don't think I have ever felt so powerful about any one thing ever before. The only marriage I feel at times I can ever remain faithful to. The passion I feel for them is indescribable, yet something I always attempt to do. Truly powerful, no matter the message.
Throughout my life I have reflected upon many different song writers and felt every word that ever fell out of their pen. Some become the "loves of the day" others "loves of the month" yet there are only a very special few that remain forever in my life. The truest one I pay respects to today is none other than: " Eminem"
I have always shared a special bond with this man. I was a "greatest fan" since the beginning and others had a very slim chance of ever swaying my heart from him. Through his words we always connected on such a profound level. He, a simple guy trying to attain a dream. Building on a road paved by bricks of his painful life. I, a simple girl pained and truly touched by ever word; because in my own way (on another level) I was going through the same.
Throughout, I have always been given a weird look when telling others that this man has been my silent mentor for a good part of my adult life. As if he was anything but one would call a role model. Yet, I whole heartedly disagree. You see, we're all different and one person's peace is another's destruction. We must all find inner meaning to our lives on any level possible. Eminem is mine.
Why should society dictate who the "good people" are in this world. More importantly, why should a man such as this (One whose demons have caused such havoc and turmoil in his life, and regardless of that fact rises from the ashes every time), not be seen as one? My heart would sooner speak to him. Yet, he is continuously shunned for the way he chooses to express himself. Claiming his pain vulgar and offensive to his fans. Influencing our youth in a negative manner and not fit to be a leader in any way.
Yet is pain not vulgar? Should we not celebrate the idea that this man looked at his life and tried? That he did not just throw his hands in the air in failure and say " I'm simply going to be another statistic and simply become a product of the horrible environment I was raised to believe in" We all know where we've been. Both the good and the bad places. Yet to me, what takes true courage and strength are those who refuse to live in that realm of thought. The empty abyss where depression is king and self-loathing it's concubine.
It shouldn't matter where you've been, but rather where you're going that should have any relevance-no?
I would sooner follow a person like that, than any other. For these are the true hero's in life.
The world is a cruel judge of character and seldom forgiving of any of us. However we cannot and should not let that deter us from being who we are at all times.
To the man called " EMINEM "
From the truest centre of me, I thank you for always having the courage to simply be you. You have and will always continue to cleanse me from my own demons. Allowing me the strength and courage to stand up and fight my battle of becoming my own individual each day. Your words are truly epic and have found a way to awaken energies in me that I never felt existed. Proving that not all addictions are bad. Let it be known that there are many in this world-ones that others would never realize exist. It's unreal to me how we all live ( or at least try to) the same way and we are oblivious to one another's pain. I, as you, feel like a comedian hiding behind a crying clown most days of my life. It's a role we must play however- to help and comfort others in our lives. In some way it keeps us sane, because we know the reality and the fact that giving into it can kill us slowly a bit every day; if we let it.
When you look back on your life consider all the falls a blessing and all the pain a tool (as you have been doing all along) As you and I both know (so painfully well) that without continual storms there could never be the possibility of beautiful rainbows.
I know you will never read this, but thank you. You are my most passionate mentor and one of my truest hero's.