|Where do we draw the line?|
I witnessed something incredibly sad the other day and felt the need to share it with all of you.
I bring attention to such things because subconsciously we are all enablers to things – whether we care to believe it or not. It’s time to stop!
A friend and I were out running errands the other day and found ourselves in a clothing store, looking at all the dazzling new merchandise that had come in for the Christmas season. Our cheerful nature was abruptly overturned when we witnessed a “Mother/Daughter argument” a few racks down from where we were standing.
The young girl (no more than 16 years of age) was holding up garments (all wide-eyed and excited) to her mother, begging her to let her try them on. The mother’s reply: “ STOP IT! You know these items will not look good on you at all” The same scenario repeated itself three more times, each ending with a negative comment from the mother to the daughter about her appearance. The girl looked so broken with each insult; but her faith was suddenly restored each time her eyes caught the attention of yet another exquisite article of clothing she would love to have.
My friend and I just shook our head, feeling sorry for the girl, remembering times when we too wanted things that our parents may have found “inappropriate” at the time. However, this was different. The mother kept on ridiculing the daughter’s body image, as they walked throughout the department store. It automatically made me think of the bullying aspect of things. “How is this any different than being bullied in a school yard by other kids?” Should we condone such behaviour because it’s a parent and their child or perhaps a teacher and a student, for example? It gave me a nasty feeling in the pit of my stomach.
The ultimate blow came a few minutes later when again the daughter picked up a gorgeous holiday dress and asked the store clerk if she could try it on in a change room. The mother came right over, yanked the garment out of her daughter’s hand and told the clerk it wouldn’t be necessary. That her daughter was “too fat” and would never look good in it. The mother then looked at her daughter and told her that she’d better start starving herself now, if she had any hope of having a nice body to fit into a dress like this. That if she didn’t “starve herself” no guy would ever have her, looking the way she did.
The clerk, my friend and I looked at one another – our jaws dropped open in utter horror. I instantly felt sick to my stomach.
The rage that consumed me at that moment is hard to explain without going into further detail about my own life, so I will leave that for another time and another blog. Needless to say, I was stunned.
The mother noticed us staring in sheer disgust of what just transpired and was not impressed! Huh.. SHE was not impressed. Imagine that?
She immediately snapped at us, firing off a few “choice words”, claiming that it was none of our business how she conducts herself with her daughter. Now, I have NEVER been one to think that way. WRONG IS WRONG, period! I know that in today’s society people are too scared or apprehensive to become involved in something that doesn’t concern them, for fear of their safety however, I simply cannot and will not live that way. I never could. So, I wasn’t about to change on this day. My friend reached out and grabbed my arm to leave, but I simply could not leave the situation without a few choice words of my own. The situation became my business when you choose to conduct yourself out loud and in public in such a way. It affected me, so I spoke up.
If you cannot / will not unconditionally love your children forever, than think twice about becoming a parent. It’s that simple! Parents should not be allowed to “bully” their children simply because they have given birth to them. No one EVER has the right to demean another’s character for any reason. It’s wrong. We as women have a difficult time in this world as it is – facing body image issues at every turn. We don’t need people that are supposed to build us up (who should be our “beckon of light” at every pass -parents/family members) rock the very foundation we stand upon. We will always encounter others in life that will – undoubtedly. That’s just not acceptable to me and it shouldn’t be to any of you either.
Every girl is Cinderella, period! Body image is crippling the world today, people. It’s one thing to strive for health and vitality. We should all live in that light however, being “skinny-obsessed” is why we have eating disorders. It’s why we punish our bodies because ours don’t cooperate and look like the ones in the magazines or like the ones the popular girls in school sport. We are measured by the numbers we are every day –especially those that appear on a scale. If the number isn’t right then no one will want us. We are not worthy of being loved. HOW INSANE IS THAT? Love by numbers. That’s what it’s boiled down to.
I couldn’t help but think about this young girl since that day. Such a vibrant, beautiful light (who was exactly height and weight proportionate I might add) destroyed a little each day. Destruction of her own self-worth which sadly began at home, by someone who is no doubt her everything.
I hope and pray that she does not become a product of her environment or society, like so many of us women before her.
To all of us out there who look a little different, thank God we have some variety! Be proud of who you are, at any size!
ATTENTION ALL “BODY IMAGE KILLERS”
I’m a SEXY, CURVY and VOLUPTUOUS woman with an infectious nature.
I am an Ambassador to all those who walk behind me
Making my way, in this SKINNY-OBSESSED world I live in.
Life gave me curves, so I’m going to flaunt them
I’m soft, supple and feel like a dream
And men have ALWAYS loved touching me.
My body is now a canvas that I am creating and adding upon because I AM THE ARTIST, not any of you.
The art that I am now seeing as a MASTERPIECE. If you don’t well, guess what? I could give a fuck!
MY BUTT is BIG and round like the letter C
And all the lunges that I’ve been doing are making it ROUNDER not smaller
And that’s just fine by me!
You will never count in the vote of what makes me beautiful
Because I now know that there is only ONE opinion that counts – MY OWN.
Those who accept it, will bask in my “hotness”
And those who might scorn and make fun of it…
I invite you to kiss the roundest, most beautiful part about me