Wednesday, June 22, 2011
I heard the saddest thing ever yesterday. I was walking along, minding my own business, when I overheard two people chatting about life. That's when I heard it. The phrase that actually brought tears to my eyes.
"There are so many people who die with the music still inside them". I immediately zoned out and thought about how very true that statement actually is.
I started thinking about all the things I wanted to do with my life, but haven't because I'm afraid of failing. All the dreams that went to death because people didn't believe in me enough to make them real. At least, that is how I always felt, until I heard that statement. I realized something. Dreams are made by the artist who dares to dream them. Only we can make them real. Sure there are people we encounter along the way who can help you make them possible, but only you can truly give them life.
There are so many of us who have hidden talents, dreams and aspirations and never allow their light to shine. So many individuals never hear their calling or do but are too afraid to work it. I honestly don't know what's worse: Having a dream and not living it, or never having the guts to dream at all. Sadly, I think a lot of that comes from upbringing. Let's be honest, there are parents ( or people in your life generally) who either allow you to "dream your dreams" or don't. I hate it when I hear parents telling their children to stop their "fantasy day-dreaming" and live reality. Or that dreams don't put food on the table/pay the bills. It gives an individual doubt very early on in their lives. That dreams are bad or that they will NEVER happen, so why bother dreaming them at all. These are the individuals that die with the music still inside them.
I think I've been both blessed and cursed in this area. In my life, it was an even toss up. Thankfully for me, I had a great role model and someone who truly believed that I could literally be/do anything I wanted in this life-because I was special. My Grandmother (Ernestina) was a pretty remarkable lady. She always told me that I had so much talent inside me and that it needed to be shared. It was because of her that I actually discovered I could write. So I thank her for that. I'm really very sad that she wasn't able to be with me and watch me grow up. I could have used her support in my life. Although there was a positive strength in my life, there would be many others who would come to diminish my light, as the years past. Luckily for me, the positive ones always stayed true in my heart and won most of the "inner battles" I had going on inside me.
Today, I say this to you all. Live your dreams, no matter what anyone else tells you! They certainly have no right to tell you what you can or cannot do. Nobody owns the true definition of who you are but you. Remember that. I know there will be times when it will feel like you will never reach your star, but you will. You just have to have a little faith and always believe in yourself-even when nobody else will. I don't know about you, but there is nothing that gets my juices flowing more furiously than someone telling me that I can't do something. It makes me all the more determined to not only achieve it, but to exceed their expectations. There is nothing sweeter than that. You know the saying: "Saying it best when saying nothing at all"? Well, it is very true. There is a great deal of power in that.
So if you're sitting out there today, reading my blog, I plead with you to think about your life. Is there something you have been too afraid to dream of? Do you dream but fear that they will never become a reality? Does your negativity (or the negativity instilled in you by others) keep you for dreaming or living that dream? Just for a moment ask yourself..why not? Why not me? Why can't this happen? Why shouldn't my dreams be my reality?
You must grab hold of yourself and promise yourself that you will never again live another minute in denial of your potential. Never again allow the negative voices to grab hold of you and keep you in a dark unhappy reality. Never again allow anyone else to dictate what your life can be or what your dreams are worth.
It doesn't matter where you come from, it's where your going that matters. Another saying that is so true. Too many people make excuses for why their lives have turned out. Too many of us allow life to break us. Of course there are always circumstances that cause you to scream out that life's not fair. Yet, in those times you and you alone, can truly be the only one to pick yourself up and carry on. We must, if we don't than we'll miss the whole damn show.
So stop making excuses about your failures. Stop making excuses about not realizing your dreams. It's not your Mother's fault, it's not your Father's fault or a lack there of. It's not because others had the opportunities you never had and it's certainly not about money, education or power. It's time that we stop blaming our environments for the end product of ourselves. We don't have to become failures or feel worthless because we were a part of a poor/bad environment. That is just nonsense. I really get frustrated when I hear people saying that. Empathize with your past and move on. Progress from it. Learn from it, but don't dwell there. That's just stupid. Take your lessons and make them the key component to your success. Allow your failures to be the fuel to your future achievements.
For if you don't, then you will just be another one of those people who dies with their music still inside them. And that, my dear friends, would be an honest waste of God's creation.
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Today being Father's Day, I decided to "re-post" an old writing piece from my archive pile, for the world's greatest person alive-my Dad!
Words cannot possibly begin to describe all this man is, but perhaps after reading this, you will have some sort of an idea.
Happy Father's Day, Daddy..
Did I ever say thank you for the way you loved me so much since the first moment you ever laid eyes on me?
Did I ever say thank you for the promise you made to God – that he should never allow anything to ever happen to me? If harm must come, to bestow the evil upon you instead and always protect me?
Did I ever say thank you for always giving your life, your heart and your soul to protect and watch over me for all time?
Did I ever say thank you for all those sleepless nights you spend holding me in your arms because I was too lonely to sleep in the crib all alone in the dark?
Did I ever say thank you for all the toys you mended, that I broke time and time again?
For all the games we played, outings to the park, picnics at the Island and endless summer days at the cottage?
Did I ever say thank you for all the times you tried to cheer me up when I was sad? For all the times you spent on your knees- wiping the tears of my shattered dreams?
Did I ever say thank you for never allowing your love for me to alter, diminish or change during those times when I said I hated you, wanted to abandon you or called you the worst Daddy ever – simply because you were doing what was best?
Did I ever say thank you for all the sacrifices you made, so that I could follow my dreams and interests, which seemed to change every other second?
Did I ever say thank you for working so hard to always provide for us, even during those days of solace bitter winter cold and the blistering heat of the summer’s sun? Just so I could have anything and everything my heart desired?
Did I ever say thank you for never losing faith in the little girl who was born to you, the Lady I tried so quickly to hurry up to be and the Woman I try so very hard every day to make you proud of?
Did I ever say thank you for carrying me through all those journeys in this life when I truly had no strength to carry myself? For all those times you shook me back to sense when all I wanted to leave this world of darkness and pain?
Did I ever say thank you for believing in me when all the odds seemed to be stacked against me? Never allowing, Man, God or Beast to ever take your daughter’s heart, soul or blood because it has always and will forever be yours?
Today, I just wanted to tell you how much I adore the Man you are everyday, the Father you have always been and continued to be? You are my light… my heartbeat…. my life and I… will forever be your little girl!
Friday, June 17, 2011
I had the most incredible sleep last night. You know the one. The kind where you wake up in the exact same spot you fell asleep in. The kind where when you awake you actually forget where you are for just a second. That kind! I woke up this morning (for the first time in months) feeling refreshed, alive and eager to start the day. I know it sounds a bit silly to be "blogging" about something so trivial, but for those who know me, will understand.
I've been suffering from severe insomnia for almost a year now. My nights are usually days and my days have become nights. It's a horrible thing because it effects your job, driving a car and even your social life. It also brings about a certain depressive state, one which I don't need to sink any more into, might I add.
So today is a good day. I don't have many, but I'm hoping this will drive itself into a trend of some sort. One step, one day at a time. That's how I'm trying to lead my life nowadays. When there is so much to fix/change or alter within your life, it's the only way you can think. If you try to juggle too many thoughts at once (as I always seem to do) you can easily spiral out of control
So I'm thankful to God for the rest and rejuvenation! I hope it lasts for a little while at least, but all I can be happy about is for the day. Nothing more than that!
Monday, June 13, 2011
I experienced the most disturbing thing today-actually two things.
On two separate occasions today, I was sadly present while some strangers decided to openly have a racist conversation in public. I truly could not believe my ears. For a moment, I could swear that if I closed my eyes It would have felt as though I was back in the day when J.F.K. was President or when Hitler was in power. The conversation literally took civilization back a few decades. To say that I was disgusted would be the understatement of the year. By the time the second instance came about I could not hold myself still any longer.
I actually stopped what I was doing and stared at the two gentleman having this open conversation. They noticed me, but still continued speaking. At that moment, I don't really know what bothered me more: The fact that they ignored my existence or the context of conversation they chose to have in public. Needless to say at this point, I was furious.
When I wouldn't stop staring or walk away, one of them men actually made a comment to me. "May I help you?" came from his lips. Well, you know me, I saw my opportunity and took it-willingly.
I communicated the fact that their conversation was not only inappropriate but utterly disgusting. The reply: "Why, they aren't here and besides it's a free country, I can say whatever the hell I want" I don't really know why I was so shocked at that response, but I was. All I could say in return was that as a human being I was insulted and sad. Insulted because apparently, I shouldn't have been bothered by the conversation being Caucasian. I was sad because in this day and age, I never would have imagined that the human race truly has not grown in this area. It never ceases to amaze me just how ridiculous some can be.
I never want to live in a world where making fun of anyone, for any reason is considered OK. I cannot believe that I was the only one who decided to say anything to the "men in conversation" I know those around me felt the exact same way that I did and yet...said nothing. I think that is the real problem within our society today. Everyone is just too afraid to do what's right or stand up for what's right. By keeping silent it makes you a "party to the injustice". If you do nothing, say nothing..it only portrays the wrong message to those who are wrong. The message that you are condoning their actions and that is just not right.
I for one will never be afraid to speak my mind. Yes, it may cause to be troublesome for me at times, but I'd rather go out knowing that I stood for something, than to simply sit back and accept the nonsense.
I simply will NOT tolerate racism ( of any kind) to be "alright" in my world. For those of you who do I have just one question for you? How on earth do you look at yourself in the mirror?
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
One white rose simple and true
A delicate creation of sweetness
Unlike the others, it portrays love as something fragile and new
Different from a red rose for it does not scream aloud
Yet, still equally perfect with a simple splash of love
The white rose is quiet, delicate and never poses to be a lion
But rather comes into your heart as gently as a dove
For some the white rose may not be as treasured as the red
They say it's not as fancy, not as passionate and simply less beautiful
I would be the lady to disagree
As i would much rather have the white instead
It may seem that the red takes a higher place of realm by day
Yet, by night all of it's mystery dies and fades away
Leaving the truest one, the purest one to shine so bright
So much in fact that it lights up in the moonlight.