"To be a warrior is not a simple matter of wishing to be one. You must condition the mind, body and soul to understand that you are one. It is rather an endless struggle that will go on to the very last moment of our lives. Nobody is born a warrior, in exactly the same way that nobody is born an average man. We make ourselves into one or the other. We make ourselves into who we want to be"— Carlos Castaneda
This is something I try to live every day. It can be a struggle at times, but if you truly practice living out this quotation you will see how very true it is.
A few years ago I met someone who now mentors me in my career today. I remember the first time I spoke with him. He already knew about me (who I was and want I wanted to do with my life) but his job was to make me REALLY want it.
The first thing he asked me was: “ So who are you?” Confused I answered I’m Gia. “No, who are you?” Again, confused at what he wanted me to say, I remained silent. “How do people know you in this world? What do you do for a living – WHO ARE YOU?” I replied: “Ohhh, I work within Government.” Now it was his turn to look at me confused. “Is that who you are, Gia?”, he asked. “Is that what you want people to know/see when they hear your name or look at you?” “Is THAT what you were meant to do for the rest of your life, Gia?” “Who are you, really?”
I wasn’t exactly sure that the answer I was about to give was the correct one but it exploded out of me as if my heart just awakened for the sole purpose of answering this question. “I want to be a Writer” He smiled. “That’s right, you do, don’t you, Gia?” And I did. With every fibre of my being.
I don’t want to be doing what I was, but had to in order to survive-for the moment. But my mentor taught me that in order to truly attain the dream I wanted, I had to live it. Of course, I couldn’t quit my day job, because it paid the bills for now (barely does even that most days) so how was I going to do this? Then, he told me one final thing that I have never forgotten: “ You have to live with your dream in the present.
Therefore, if you have to STOP telling yourself and others that Gia is an “aspiring Writer” .
You have to stop saying that “someday I would like to be a published author” What you MUST do is begin telling others and yourself that you ARE a Writer. That you ARE an author. His lesson was simply that. If one believes whole-heartedly in themselves and the dreams/aspirations they have for their life, they MUST live in the present with them. So I conditioned my mind to understand that I AM a Writer…NOW. Not that I will be, but that I AM…NOW!
I didn’t exactly understand how that would bring me closer to my dream OR how it would help but I was willing to try it.
So whenever someone asked me what I do for a living, I simply replied: “I’m a Writer” Not someday plan to be. Not someday will be. I AM A WRITER..today! Soon my entire psychology about it all changed. Physiologically, I had learned to program my mind to become in sync with my soul and feel (whole-heartedly) that I was a Writer.
Then, some magic happened. I began my own blog page and then went on from there to create LIFE AFX. I began to receive emails from people who loved my work/my writing and started a fan base.
Then, I was given the opportunity to write for my Government newsletter and became published for different articles. Following that, I was given another opportunity at work to become a Writing Coordinator, working with the Assistant Deputy Minister of the Government program I am affiliated with. And so on.. It just seemed to snowball from there.
Who would have thought that from a simple “frame of mind” setting that all this (and more) would come from it? Certainly not I. I am forever grateful, that I have learned this lesson, for it has changed my life in more ways than I can count.
Hi Everyone! My name is Gia and I’m a singer/songwriter and author. I work with and collaborate with different artists, musicians, DJ’s and writers to create music and words for the world to see and hear. Within this life, I will forever be known as the woman who adored music and writing so much that I just had to bring my touch to it and share it with all of you. It is who I am…who I’ve always been. I AM all of these things and more, so thank you for allowing me to bring you all forms of my expressions!
I heard somewhere once, that when you die there is a little pond one must walk through, before you enter heaven. It's a ritual every human being must go through in order to transcend from human form back to angelic presence. That the pond washes away all sins and bad experiences you had on earth, and only leaves the good. And all that you remember is love.
If this is true (which I believe it is) then on October 9, 2011, was the day that Alessia Morisani became an Angel. However, to all of us, she already had her wings long before she ever left.
Alessia,
I bet that you never anticipated that at the age of 18 your name would be in lights. That all those who knew you would be carrying a picture of you with them (in some form or fashion) for the rest of their days. And that all those who didn't know you, wished they had. Nevertheless, your spirit has joined these two groups of people and merged them into one. So now, because you lived, we all knew you (in the very most intimate of details), we all loved you and we are all empty because you're gone.
Today, I pay tribute to you.
I have contemplated how I would do this for the past two months, since you left. Would it be a sad goodbye, filled with tearful/painful memories that all your loved ones knew; or a factual one going over the horrible details of how you were taken from our lives? I decided against both. So I celebrated your life today instead.
It's hard at times to take events like this and try and find the meaning behind it all. I've had to learn to accept that in life, at times, there aren't any "real reasons" why. Sometimes, things "just happen" However, yours was not one of those times. Although I am heartbroken and devastated to not have you here, it took you leaving to change my own life in a million ways. Funny isn't it? That it always takes someones life to end to teach those who remain how to actually live.
You've made me stop to "smell the roses" everyday. I know there is nothing more important than to find time to "enjoy my life" and all those who celebrates me, on a daily basis. That each moment we laugh, smile and share with one another are the only ones that should be repeated continuously. That negative times should never take precedence over positive ones. That each day I am given is a gift, not a right, and that I should be sure to use my time here wisely. That at any moment our light can be blown out, as quickly as the flame on a candle. I now never leave a conversation or a situation without the words: "I love you" because we never really know if we will be a part of it ever again, until we are.
There was a moment the other night (and many others in between the time you left till now) when a flash of your beautiful face came to my mind and a tickle from you ran down my arms, that made me sad that I am living and you were not. But I know now that those visits were just your way of being happy that the lessons you left us with have been learned.
I want you to know that although time will pass and I may not think about you every moment, of every day, that it does not mean you are forgotten. Rather, it means that you have given me strength to be happy and live in your smile. You are never far from any of our hearts, thoughts and dreams!
R.I.P. Baby Girl..mad love...always..Gia
This is for you!!!
"Thinking about today.. already feeling utterly sick to my stomach!!! Alessia's funeral. Today, she is laid to rest and forever in the light and grace of God. May his angels sing softly..beautifully while they guide you home, sweet one. May all those you've left behind, who love you, also find some peace today!!! Keep them safe, until they see you again. I look forward to sharing/meeting you some day too! R.I.P. Aless... God Speed... *tears* Gia
" Oh my baby girl what on earth am i going to do without you? I got to be alone with you for a few minutes and I asked you that question probably a hundred times and I'm sure you'll give me an answer soon. We talked last week about not ever wanting anyone to come visit us when they pass away but you my angel can come visit me whenever you want and i'll be waiting. David gave me you pandora bracelet ...and my heart broke. I'm so honored that he gave it to me because I know how much you love it. I tried to stay strong for you last night but it was hard. There were so many people there for you last night and there are going to be even more tonight. I love you so much and I'll see you again today ♥ Love your big sissy" -----Kayla Alessia Postiglione Morisani
"Heey girllly, i was just watching mtv and the music video for your song came on :)
we really did 'find love in a hopeless place'...never thought id get through this aless, but now when i think of you i can smile and have you as a memory instead of being sad, because i was lucky enough to be as close as we were with eachother ALL throughout highschool...we never ever once had a problem with eachother and always knew how to make eachother laugh♥
Me and stephy are gonna make cupcakes soon really really cuteee ones cause i know how much you loveee da sweeeets hehe love you so so muchh! xooxo ♥" -----Azzurra Dilorenzo
" Life means all that it ever meant. It is the same that it ever was. There is absolute unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight? I am but waiting for you. For an interval.
Somewhere. Very near. Just around the corner" ----Marissa Fanone
"Hey baby girl,
I wake up every morning to a memory of you, or always feeling to give you a phone call since it was my every day routine. Even though everyday we never did anything and always be bums driving around, dressing in track pants and trying to find something to do ... i miss every second of it. Every morning ill continue having those memories as those will be a part of me forever now. Keep smiling and help me get better and out of this body cast i'm stuck in as soon as possible baby girl..Your on my mind forever!
love you to pieces and miss you like crazy ♥" ---- Steph Power
"So many of us gathered today and with God and each other we prayed together for your precious young soul Alessia... taken far too soon from all who loved you and had the pleasure to know and share moments and memories... A kiss to you sweet child as I know you are blowing kisses of Angel dust from the sky upon us ♥♥♥" ---Suzie Ursomarzo Arkarakas
" R.I.P, may God be with you and your family, you will be greatly missed by all your family and friends" --- Angie Lato-Bernardi
"What a good picture of us baby girl. You look amazing, Wow! I'm so happy we took this picture. Best Friends Forever!!! xoxoxoxo" ---Sara Fonz
"Alessia my angel, you are beautiful inside and out and. As painful and hard as this has been, it was wonderful to see the impact that you have had on the people in your life, as short as it was. Know that you were surrounded by love from all. The two hardest goodbye's I have ever had to say were both to you and so today, I simply say goodnight, sleep tight until we meet again. I will love and miss you with each passing day. ♥" --- Eugene Ristuccia & Rose Postiglione
" Alessia, i wasn't as close with you as i wish i was, but you're personality has brought everyone together in your memory. It kills me almost every day knowing that you came to visit me on my 19th birthday.. after almost 20 minutes of convincing, you finally came in and joined the rest of us. I truly regret not having the chance to spend more time with you, but i know that we'll have that opportunity one day. May you rest in peace, watch over us. My deepest condolences to Kayla and the rest of the Morisani family." ----Daniel Spinello
" My beautiful angel,
I saw your face today for the last time untill we meet again. I will love you with all my heart for all eternity. I keep asking myself why you. There are so many who deserve death but you were not one of them. I'll always miss you, One day we'll see eachother again. I'll always cary the regret with me of not seeing you that last time. Know that I love you more than words can say. from your big brother Stefan ♥-----Stefano Hosko
" rest in peace alessia ♥ you will be missed very much by your family and your millions of friends! i will miss your jokes and your up beat personality. everytime i saw you, you were smiling and that isnt a joke, you literally always smiled. you were a great person and will be missed sooo much. i think that people need to realize when someone is gone you need to appreciate those around you to get through the tragedy. its unfortunate that life has to work that way but everything happens for a reason. One Love Alessia! Love you ♥ R.I.P." Alfio Foti
" Alessia, i know over the past few years me and you sort of dirfted and we weren't as close as we once were, but that does not mean i will not cherrish all the good times, laughs, and inside jokes we did have♥ you were a person that was able to bright up any room with your outgoing personality and your smile. You will be missed by all of us, but you will never be forgotten and will be remembered for the rest of our lives. Rest Peace Alessia♥ we miss you!" ---Matthew Giambattista
" Remember the day before I got my wisdom teeth pulled, you and I rode our bikes to the nail salon and got our nails done yet .... we had no money! Were fools, how did we go and not be able to pay.. We sat there freaking out about what to do. Thankgoodness my dad came to the rescue! I'll always have these silly memories of you and I will never forget them or the way you could make me or anyone laugh/smile. You were taken way too soon, but you are definitely in a better place and your safe in God's hands. Rest in peace alessia, your our angel now ♥" ----Bianca Cavaliere
"5 weeeeks in italy, and the very last night i got to spend it with you.. ran around rome searching for eachother with no communication.. of course our meeting spot was mcdonalds hahaha, after about an hour of running in circles i almost ran outta ideas of where to find you, then i heard teeeeeejay, and there you were with the biggest and best smile :) right away we found the best bar and you made... it the best night of my whole trippp, you knew that though. we talked about the millions of things we haddd to do, all night caught up on everything that summer, and you said a million times anyone ever hurts my TJ and i'll hurt them well now i know you're still up there watching over me my angel ♥ ♥ enjoy the party up there baby i love you forever." Joanne Taylor
"Life shouldnt be taken for granted, too many people these days take every minute of life for granted. You have to understand that life is very precious and a gift from God. We shouldn't waste a second of it. Even i waste a lot of time and take life for granted . We all have to learn from our mistakes. Death brings us together but actions we do make who we are. We all miss you Alessia and hope the best for your family. R.I.P. :( ♥" ----Nima Niknejad
" alessia ur an awsome person. i remember wen u and kristina would come to me and alyssa's place and as soon as u walked in the door u would look at my mom and say to my mom that she was ur mom away from home. u two were very close and treated each other like family. i still can't belive this happened i wish it were a dream and everything would be normal. now u and my mom are both in a good place.
R.I.P. mom, nonno take good care of alessia" --- Anthony Rulli
"I never knew Alessia, but I drive by the vigil every day and I can’t imagine how difficult this is for all her family and friends. I can see that Alessia was an amazing girl who touched the lives of many people. Sometimes friends hold you up, sometimes they lean on you, and sometimes it’s just enough to know that they are standing by. And I know that Alessia is standing by and is looking over each... of you; even after nights of rainfall, and strong winds, the large bouquet of white roses at the vigil look untouched, just as beautiful as Alessia. Although death leaves a heartache no one can heal, hold on to your memories and take comfort in knowing that Alessia lives within each of you. Rest in Peace Alessia Morisani, you are a beautiful angel." ----Melissa Castronovo
"Tonight i drove by where the crash happened and its so beautiful so see all those flowers and teddy bears and just to see how many people you've touched alessia. There will be alot of people missing you like crazy but Alessia is closer to you all more now then she ever was. Rest in peace girll♥" ---Cassandra Coscarelli
" Hey sweetness guess what, I did my first walk today since all the yukkiness last week, i always say " you can always leave your garbage behind on a walk" ...my goal was 5km and i did 10km first time ever ;)...and with my very first step to my last it was for you... thank you for joining me the last bit .. i was late for a call with my boss (performance review) hahaha, but ho-well, who cares right?... anyway, how much do you love bruno mars now? played it alot.. you sickof it?... "When i see your face, there's not a thing that i would change cuz you're amazing just the way you are" ;)that song is for you ....just wanted to drop a note to say thanks for walking with me , that was the emotional cleanse required, moving forward with every little step. love ya! Mimi (wannabe ur fave cuz) xoxox "----Mimi Malfara Mailman
"I never knew Alessia but when I heard about what had happened, I couldn't stop thinking about her family and friends who are suffering the loss of this beautiful young girl. You not only touched and impacted the lives of those who knew you, but also those who have never met you or got a chance to. My heart truly aches for you, your family, and friends. It really brought tears to my eyes reading ev...erything people have wrote about you. I hope that you give your family, especially your parents and sister, the strength to go on and continue with their lives and always let them know you are there. You are at the same cemetary as my cousin so I will always stop by and say a prayer for you. Remember, it's never goodbye, it's only see you later. May you rest in peace, Alessia. You truly are a beautiful Angel. God bless, xo "You don't get over it, you just get through it. You don't get by it, because you can't get around it. It doesn't "get better," it just gets different. Everyday, grief puts on a new face." ---Caterina Ursino
"I was driving by myself, I had to turn my music off because my thoughts were so much noisier than the radio. I talked loud so you could hear me up there and although what we talked about was for you and me, I want this group to know something that your tragedy unfortunately made me realize: life is luck. It comes and goes so easily- I'm trying to keep this as unconventional as I can- if the stupid, pointless, bullshit you re wrapped up in right now is stopping you from smiling, let it go. Don't waste your time being an ugly angry shade of red because your friend said something they won't remember in the morning. It's all pointless. Aless you told me "don't give a shit what people say". I don't, i am who i am and the ones who care about me will accept that. But You taught me more than that- your unfairly shortened life taught me start appreciating my own. Fuck, this is so hard I can barely type right now I miss you... Thank-you for everything" ---Paige Addesi
" hi pretty girl, just thinking of you as always. I'm really missing you, i wish i could have one more conversation with you and share everything that's on my mind. But unfortunately i have to just tell you through prayers and thoughts, although i know you're listening. i know God has a bigger plan for you than we all thought and that's why you were taken from us at such a young age. He's so lucky to have you aless because i know that no one made people laugh as hard as you did. i had a shitty day today and i know that if we would've talked, you would've said one of your really cool voices and made me laugh until my day didn't seem as bad. i can still hear all your crazy voices in my head and they still make me smile. only you would put a smile on someones face just through good memories even though we're worlds away. anyways cutie, I'm going to try to get some sleep, I'm still waiting for you to come see me! love you so much♥" --- Melisa Carrillo
" God looked around his garden and found an empty place. He than looked down upon his earth and saw your loving face. He put his arms around you and lifted you to rest. His garden must be beautiful, he always takes the best. You left us precious memories, your love with be our guide, you live on through your family, you're always be by our side. It broke our hearts to lose you, but you did not go alone. For part of us went with you on the day God called you home." ---- Rebecca Vasilovsky
" Alessia morisani is more then just a name. its a part of everyones life. you have touched so many people in so many ways, and knew how to live life to the fullest. gone way to soon.. i still feel this this is all a dream and I'm waiting for someone to wake me up from this nightmare. its so surreal to me and it is just way to hard to believe. words cant describe what you mean to mean to me . this has made such an impact on our lives and has been a huge eye opener. I wish nothing but the best for you, and your family. we'll be missing you. we love you so much aless! RIP, Alessia morisani <3" --- Alyssa Rulli
"hey aless♥
i know your doing well and i know that your there with me everyday.
i was walking down the west wing and past our old fitness change room and just felt like i hit a ton of bricks this is still hard, to surreal sometimes I'm half expecting you to be at the next party i go to
love you baby girl
keep smiling on us okay, cause sometimes we forget to smile and who better to remind us then you xoxo" ----Rosa Campagna
" I had a dream about u lastprobably because i was looking at pictures of you and reading all the comments before bed like i usually do.....i got to hug u in my dream alessia i saw you like i usually would at random places king football games french class in the hallways my backyard or with steph and you just gave me the biggest hug and it felt amazing i wish i could see u again and get anoth...er hug your soo deeply missed i still cant believe your not here babygirl....im just waiting until i seee you or here that laugh of yours at a jam or around me i misss u girl heaven needed you that night and we all still don't know why is had to be this early but u were just that special.....rest in peace beautiful ill see u someday on the other side ♥" ---Amanda Zappia
~ The Bond That Can NEVER Be Broken...Between Sisters ~ *Kayla & Alessia*
" You taught the world to go hard every day, because tomorrow might be your last. you've touched people who never knew you, or never got the chance t know you. not to mention the people who were close to you, or got the blessing of a life time to meet you at least once. it was really hard at first, but now its nice to live with a new perspective about life, live it with those you love and make an everlasting impression on them, so that once we're gone too, we leave behind many memories like you've left us. you're inspiring alessia, a gorgeous angel who I'm happy to have watching over all of us:) miss you. rip" ---- Amanda Young
"I just want to thank everyone for their kind words and support. My sister was the most beautiful person I have ever met in my life. Her smile could light up a room and her heart was big enough for all of us to be part of. I want everyone to promise me they will keep strong and I am praying for all of you ♥ Sisters forever baby just like I always told you. I'll see you again soon, I promise you that ♥" ------Kayla Alessia Postiglione Morisani
Every now and again you hear words that ignite and captivate your very soul. Words that can never be forgotten or erased from your memory, once they have been said aloud. It changes the very essence of the person you are, simply because they resonate deep within the very core of your being.
This is why I love words so much. For what else could possibly stir up a million emotions...all at once? What else could compliment a melody or rhythm of music so exquisitely? Nothing else could make you see reason in a world of things that just simply don't make sense. It is why I became a writer. Someday, I hope to pull this kind of passion through words that I speak...that I write for all of you.
Being that it's so very close to Christmas I felt compelled to share something empowering with all of you. Something that could change or alter something within you today. Something you can share with others. Yes, they are words. Yet, ones strung along together so intricately that they will make you come alive simply because you hear them all the time and still may not have rung true...until today.
Listen to the words spoken: Understand them: Believe them: Make them a part of you: Let them free you!
US President, Barack Obama may have put it best. “The world has lost a visionary.
And there may be no greater tribute to Steve’s success than the fact that much of the
world learned of his passing on a device he invented.”
To most today is a sad day because yesterday, the world lost one of its most magical, creative and innovative thinkers/inventors of its time: Mr. Steve Jobs. For most, he was the Co-founder and former chief executive officer of Apple Inc. He invented things like: The mouse, the Mac, the little wheel that allows you to spin back and forth on your iPod / iPhone for selections and many, many more wonderful little things that makes our world a little more special. For me, he was a man who dared to dream about all he could be within this life and not only spoke of it-but went out and made it happen. This is a man who dropped out of college (at the age of 21) and began to work out of his parent’s garage with a friend to pursue a calling. A man who was fired more than once. A man who knew all about failures and disappointments but didn’t allow them to shadow his desires. Today he was worth an approximate 8+ billion dollars, not to mention that the company is worth quad-duple that. Yet, the most important “worth” of all can never be measured in dollars. Therefore, it makes his “true worth” priceless.
Last night, I decided to turn in early from sheer and utter exhaustion of the day’s events, when I received a text from my dear friend, Armand about Mr. Jobs passing. The text read: “Steve Jobs died” A simple three word statement that left great impact for the rest of my evening. At first, I was “dazzed and confused”. My response to Armand was: “What? Who?” Even after I read his response, it still took me a few more minutes to fully digest the news.
At first, I was quite sad about it all. I started to think about how disgusting it was that cancer took the life of yet another great individual too soon. I began to think about what other incredible things Mr. Jobs would have delivered to the world if only he was healthy and was given the gift of a longer life. I became angry that he was only 56 and was not allowed to live out the rest of his dreams. Then, immediately all those thoughts came to a halt. I was doing the very thing I shouldn’t be doing – thinking negatively. A natural reaction for any human being when faced with the passing of someone’s life. Especially one that touched the lives of so many. However, one thought came to mind. He was a great man who lived with utter passion, every day that he was given. That was something to be proud of. Because of the way he lived, it gave me courage to do the same.
I have always lived my life by two things: That life is not about finding yourself, but creating yourself. The other: To always remain a child somewhere within your heart forever. Because of these two beliefs it has always dared me to dream my dreams, no matter what anyone else thought. Many find dreams to be silly and worthless. I say, without them you are truly nothing. Mr. Steve Jobs believed, that without them, life was not worth living. It can be said that in the past I have been too afraid to fulfill my dreams; but because this man lived and died, I may just find the courage to go the extra mile. For this I am truly grateful to him and for what his life has brought to mine. So today, instead of being sad that he died, I choose to be happy because he made sure that he truly lived while he was here!
To Mr. Steve Jobs:
Thank you for all you had the courage to be. May your spirit and imagination live on in the eyes, hearts and minds of your children and colleagues. That they may have the drive, genius and determination to take your legacy to new heights. A height that will reach you in i-heaven!
Finally, thank you for leaving me with a few things to think about today. You may just be the final reason that I’ve been given to succeed. God Speed. R.I.P.
As human beings, we come to understand that life is not always perfect. We accept the unfairness of it all and learn to push through the bad times because there is always something better to look forward to, somewhere down the line. At least that's what most of us believe right? We must, what else is there? To think anything else would be the devastation of the human race as we know it. So whether we voice our "faith that life is generally good" aloud or not, I think we all hold true to that fact somewhere deep within.
Yesterday, I found out that a dear friend of mine has been dealing with a very traumatic time in her life. Her daughter has been diagnosed with cancer. She is 10 years old. A mutual friend thought that I should know about the situation, as it has been going on for some time.
I instantly felt like someone had just knocked the wind out of me. I crouched over, bringing my head to my knees and tried with all my might to take a deep breath, only I couldn't. How could I possibly breath with no air? I began to cry because I was so enraged at the news. In that moment I felt so helpless and quickly thought that this is exactly what my friend must be feeling. I couldn't help but be angry. The entire ordeal didn't make any sense. Then again, it never does when it involves a child.
As adults we go about our lives and make the best choices we can. Sometimes it works out and other times not so much. However, we've still lived/experienced some quality of life (or at least we hope) before something bad happens. She's 10. I mean, why should anyone know this kind of pain, fear and disappointment at this stage in the game? I'm not trying to say that cancer (or other diseases) at any age is easy-of course not. Yet, for some reason it's a deeper blow when it happens to a child.
If you've ever been to "Sick Kid's Hospital" in Toronto, you know exactly what I'm talking about. I used to walk their halls daily for 3 years and would always get this pain in my stomach when I did. There was such a sense of remorse and unfairness that filled my mind with each corridor that I passed, that I couldn't bare to be there for long periods of time. At the same time, there was always laughter that could be heard, spreading down each hall way. Children's laughter-the best kind as far as I'm concerned. There have been some really great things that have happened there. Miracles, courage and faith are all motto's to live by within those walls. However, it's hard to believe anything when it happens to you. Or rather, it takes time to digest the news and adopt this way of thinking, but adopt it we must! For what else could we possibly believe but that everything will be alright in the end.
I've always been the believer of the motto: "Think of the worst and hope for the best" Not something I'm proud of but it's all I can do when faced with obstacles of any nature. I immediately become consumed and overwhelmed with it all, analyzing every possible scenario to death. Then, when I'm completely and utterly exhausted with it all I pray. I pray that God is right and I am in fact strong enough to carry this cross which has confronted my life at present, and begin to walk. Slowly.
The truth is, it's not easy to be faced with this kind of thing and just think positively. It's just not. We want the best. We hope, wish and pray for it, but it's not easy to put a face on (for ourselves or others) and just take it. I think anyone would be lying if they said otherwise. The uglier truth of it all: There is no cure. Will there ever be one?
Folks, in the blink of an eye, from one second to the next, our lives can dramatically change for better or worse. Think about your lives. The people within them. The choices we make. The people that we've truly become. The way we live. Are you happy? Are you really "living/enjoying" all you have or just merely "existing"? Are you content with what you have, knowing that it's truly enough? Or do we work/struggle with the 60+ hour work weeks, in hopes to attain things we don't really need? Do you live your dreams or simply wish them? Do you give thanks for each day or just wish the day to be done? These are all things to think about. If you think hard enough, you will hear the answers you need to hear.
You want to know what I find funny? The fact that it always takes something life-altering to happen, in order for us to be grateful for all we have (little or otherwise). Only then do our lives seem/feel so abundant. It's a very sad thing! So don't want for something to happen to you to find meaning and significance in your life. Just live. The rest ( i believe) will take care of itself!
I always find it so fascinating just how much I learn and discover about myself on a daily basis. After 37 years of being, I just thought I automatically knew exactly who I was by default however, this is simply not the case. I suppose this is what it truly means to grow within yourself. More and more I'm realizing that the person I may have been a year ago, is simply not the individual I am today. Hell, at times, I'm not even the girl I was an hour ago. I guess it's all relative to one's situation or what we go through on a daily basis that really makes us who we are. It's not just a moment in time, but rather a bunch of small instances within many events that shape who we truly are.
As I begin my journey of writing my very first book, I find myself revisiting many different times in my life. Some of which have made me laugh, and others that have made me cry. I know that many people say that they have lived with no regrets or remorse when looking back at their lives, but I find it hard to believe such a statement to be true. Perhaps it's just a very cool thing to say to make others envious, but is it really true? I mean we're human and that automatically entails that we faulter from time to time, making mistakes along the way. We aren't perfect in any way, so how can anyone honestly say that they have never regreted even one small second of their existance?
Of course we can learn from them and set moments as examples of how to lead the rest of our lives, sure. We can also say that we are content and have made peace with those indiscretions because they've made us who we are today, but do we honestly believe that we don't regret them? Can we truthfully say that if we were granted the opportunity to go back in time and change one moment, one event from our lives we wouldn't? Are there some who would forefit the wish because they are fine with all that's transpired? If there are then I would truly love to meet these individuals.
I for one, have had many regrets within my life. Not to say that i would care to change all that's happened however; there are definitely a couple of moments I would change in a heartbeat if I could. Neverthelss, I must say that I am thankful for all the times that I have been granted upon this earth. I have fallen, yes but am grateful for all the lessons I have learned because of those events. I can honestly say that I would have never known just how much strength and love I had, both for myself and others, if I had not encountered these trying times. I wish sometimes that I could have learned my lessons in a different manner but a gift is a gift in any form. So I am grateful nonetheless.
At this particular stage in the game of my life, I'm learning about "self-love and self-forgiveness" something I haven't really known for a very long time. Somehow I've forgotten how necessary the two can be. Luckily for me, I have a fantastic group of friends and family who kindly remind me everyday. I will not say that I have mastered either one just yet, but I'm learning to do so a little more each day.
Today, I learned the following: That you should always be yourself, truthfully. Always accept yourself, gratefully. Always value yourself , joyfully and forgive yourself honestly and full-heartedly. This is what it means to love myself right now, in this moment.
Why is it that as human beings it takes one of us to die to realize just how little time we are truly given?
I mean, we're all intelligent, vibrant and capable human beings. Yet, we do so little with our time on this earth. Some of us choose to do nothing at all. Then there are the worst ones of all: Those of us who complain daily about how hard and unfair life is, so that we can make excuses for not being all we can be. Those of us who always pity ourselves for the hand we've been dealt and blame our past environments for all that we failed to do or become. We all know just how precious life is and how on a dime your entire world can change. Yet, we never choose to stop the insanity and just live.
This blog thought stems from the recent passing of Jack Layton. To many, he was just a political figure with a friendly face and style to politics. However, to most he was a courageous man who had a goal: To make this country great! It's been a long time since we've had someone who actually cared about "the greater good" and I for one believe that it's a grave loss for Canada, in so many ways.
Despite his personal battles, his drive for a better democracy was all he spoke of. He performed well during his campaign, always demonstrating incredible energy, enthusiasm and optimism. Against all odds, he believed that with our help WE (not he) could make this country all it was meant to be. See, it wasn't about him. He never believed that it was about a leader, but rather the people who could change a nation.
Even knowing that his end was near, he still took time over the weekend to meet with his officials and Chief of Staff to make plans for Canada's future without him. He cared, not for himself but for those of us who remain, to live in this place. How many of us would care in that state of mind or condition? Would you?
I sat there motionless and utterly stunned when I heard of his passing, yesterday. Surrounded by my family, as we enjoyed our vacation time together, I couldn't help but stare at each one of them thinking: " I'm not ready to go and leave any of them. Nor am I ready for any of them to leave me". Then, one of my own personal battles came to mind. One I've been pushing away because it's been too hard to tackle. It made me realize how many things we ( as people) would be missing out on if others simple decided to give up on their lives, because it was just too hard to change. I thought about Mr. Layton and others who have not only changed our lives but in many ways shaped them. It made me think about how much we put our friends and families through. How important we are to them and how crucial it is to reach our highest potential, no matter how difficult the struggle to the road can be.
" Our problems are man-made, therefore they may be solved by man. No matter of human destiny is beyond human beings". John Fitzgerald Kennedy
Imagine if J.F.K decided not to pursue his belief that all human beings are equals, regardless of race/creed or colour; simply because it was too hard/scary to convince his country or the world otherwise.
" Do not wait for leaders; do it alone, person to person" Mother Teresa
"Everyone of us needs to show how much we care for each other and, in the process, care for ourselves" Princess Diana
Imagine if Mother Teresa or Princess Diana decided not to use their influence and power for a greater good. To educate the world that we must be humble and giving to others less fortunate.
“I don’t feel that this is unfair. That’s the thing about cancer. I’m not the only one, it happens all the time to people. I’m not special. This just intensifies what I did. It gives it more meaning. It’ll inspire more people. I just wish people would realize that anything’s possible if you try; dreams are made possible if you try" Terry Fox
Imagine what kind of world it would be if Terry Fox decided to allow his disease to own his heart, mind and spirit. That he would have allowed himself to simply become a prisoner, captive to his environment and never allowed a nation to see his strength.
Imagine the greatness of these and all the others who have come both before and after them. What they've done for both our inner and outer worlds. Now imagine that none of them existed. Sad isn't it?
If Terry Fox travelled across the country with one leg, battling his disease with a smile on his face and a will in his heart to continue, then I can surely conquer the battles that currently lie within me. If Jack Layton could spend his final day on earth making plans to better our futures, then I can make plans too.
I am truly grateful for these incredible individuals and for their strength to follow their dreams. It is because of them that I live and strive for greatness.
Although our lives take crazy turns every now and again, it's nice to know that you are surrounded by people who just simply, unconditionally love and support you, no matter what.
I'm one of the lucky ones. I've had truly incredible people bless me, by allowing me to share/walk in their journey with them, most of my life. People who will turn their world upside down, to be there for me. I cannot tell you how that makes me feel. It's truly an incredible rush to know that you matter that much to those around you. I suppose that's why I always reach out to others, whether I know them or not. As a human being it should be our job to support one another in any way we can.
My friend Danny once told me that he makes it his mission to make at least one person smile every day. It could be a gesture, a kind word, supporting someone or even giving them a pep talk.
I remember walking along King Street ( in Toronto) one cold winter day. He and I walked arm in arm, when we came across a woman, who sadly had made a heating vent on the corner of King and Jarvis Street, her home. We stopped to give her some change and ended up staying for a little while, because Danny had engaged in some conversation with her. The woman was incredibly upbeat considering she was homeless, but her eyes revealed the pain she so well hid otherwise. Our conversation ended, we bid her a good day and began walking away.
On our way back home we took the same route. All of the sudden Danny stopped off at a corner store. He told me to wait here a moment and that he would be right back. When he came out, he had a flower in his hand. Naturally, I thought it was for me. However, Danny had other intentions.
As we waked by the woman we had spoken to earlier, Danny stopped and knelt down to address the woman, who was now lying down. She immediately sat up and smiled at us both. Danny gave her the flower. It was a beautiful rose in full bloom. He told the woman that he couldn't get her beautiful eyes out of his mind all afternoon. He told her that they were the most beautiful pair of eyes he had ever seen. Danny then gave her the rose and said: A beauty for a beauty. I thought it was the most incredible thing I had ever witnessed. Tears slowly fell from my eyes as I watched her face light up like a Christmas tree.
Here is a man that for no reason, stopped his day and his life, for just a moment to make someone feel worthy, special and happy just because. There was no rhyme or reason for it. It was just a simple gesture of kindness. He taught me a lot during the times we spent together.
There have been many other moments, and many other people who are all responsible for shaping my life and how I treat others. I am truly grateful to them all.
Today, I was given a flower by someone simply because they thought it would cheer me up and make me smile. A simple gesture done out of the blue, for no other reason or intention except to make me feel good about who I was. Something to make my day a little brighter. It reminded me of that story of the homeless woman, so I thought I would share it with all of you, in hopes that you can take something away from this blog and apply it in your every day life.
Perhaps we should all begin to "pay it forward". To do things for others (whether we know them or not) simply because we can. Simply because it will make another person smile. Imagine all the good we could do in this world. Something to think about....isn't it?
Always be kinder than necessary just because....
So, what little, simple acts of kindness can we do to pay it forward today?
put a quarter in a meter, any meter, that’s about to expire
leave a copy of a really great book you’ve read in a cafe for someone else to enjoy
be nice to the customer service people who are trying to help you with your technological difficulties
tip your restaurant server generously
thank the cooks, waitstaff and bussers personally
say something nice or funny or goofy to the toll booth attendant (like, “Don’t drive too fast, now” or “Glad to have encountered you today”, or something less hokey)
forgive a driver directing road rage at you
buy or pack a meal for a homeless person (or give him/her your to-go box from a restaurant)
give a warm coat to a homeless person
offer to do pro bono work on a project where your skills are needed
mentor someone
make a donation
say a prayer or whisper a kind wish for someone
compliment a stranger
send a box of donuts or bagels or muffins to a construction site
next time you leave a foreign country, give all or some of what’s left of your currency to someone who resides in that country
next time you’re at the airport, offer to pull the bags belonging to a woman or a mother with child out of the conveyor belt
praise generously
give local tips (re: restaurants, sights, etc.) to a tourist
show respect equally to all human beings
put a tip in a street musician’s jar
let someone cut in front of you at the grocery store
tell a funny joke to a stranger
give someone a chance to prove him or herself
encourage someone to pursue their dream
allow someone to let his or her light shine
show support to an artist or writer or musician
hold the door open for someone
tip a cab driver generously
teach a child something you wish you knew at that age
smile at someone who’s sad
smile at strangers
offer sincere, kind words to someone who’s hurting
visit a hospice and spend some time with a terminally ill patient
volunteer at a battered women’s shelter
spend some time with a senior citizen living alone
give up your seat on a crowded bus or train or ferry
inspire someone to be the best that they can be
give someone the benefit of the doubt
offer to babysit for a single mother
offer the FedEx, UPS or DHL delivery person something to drink especially on a warm day
help a pregnant lady
sit and talk with a homeless person and learn their story
loan something to someone and forget about it
contribute to a friend’s child’s education fund
give blood
show respect to a soldier regardless of your pacifism
donate to or volunteer for the Make-A-Wish Foundation
replace an angry or bitter thought toward someone with a loving thought (or at least try)
Lately, I've been doing a lot of what I like to call "vision meditation" Something that my relaxation therapist ( yes, I have one) says is something that is vital for all human beings to do daily.
For those of you who don't know what this is, allow me to explain:
It begins as normal meditation does. Breathing your way to an inner calmness. Then, once you have achieved this state of peace, you begin manipulating your mind to focus on images you desire. So basically, it's allowing only visions of certain things into your mind at that time. By doing this daily you engage your body and mind to become one focus, one realm of state. Something that if done regularly can assist you in achieving what you most desire. After all, what you are or do within this life, always begins by being in the right state of mind to achieve it.
The object of this exercise is to envision what you want for yourself by making your mind believe that you've already achieved them. Sounds weird right? Nevertheless, I assure you it works. It's almost along the same premise as the idea in the movie: "Field of Dreams" The entire focal point in that movie was built around the mantra: "If you built it, they will come" You apply this the same way. If you allow yourself to believe something with all your mind, all your body and all your spirit then you condition yourself to achieve it.
Buddhists believe that meditation has the ability of teaching one to transform. That if you condition your mind to believe it can achieve greatness, it will. That is why some people consider Buddhism to be a kind of psychology. A theory that I believe whole-heatedly.
The very first time I tried this was almost a year ago. After having a session with my therapist. During that session he asked me two things: 1) Do I have any goals in place for my life and 2) If I had to choose just one of them to focus on with all my might, which one would it be? So I did. I had many, but the one that I kept believing in with all my might was the idea of being a Writer. Then he said: "OK, now go home and don't simply "dream" about this goal, believe in it and live it as if you already achieved it". Again, like many of you are thinking at this point, I thought he was crazy.
I went home with the idea to try it out. At that point in time, my life was very unsettling in every way. I was unsure of my job, my relationship and the person I was in general. I knew that everything in my life was about to change and I was nowhere near ready for it. Truth be told, I was scared. Scared to do what my Therapist had asked because I was afraid of changing my state. With change comes uncertainty and I wasn't exactly ready for either. I was miserable in every aspect of my life at that time, but I was settling. Settling and much more willing to live with the devil I knew than go after the devil I could find if I changed anything.
Then, one day (about 12 months or so ago) I sat all alone and tried it. That day I began my "vision meditation" journey. I started off with one thing, as my Therapist had recommended. I envisioned myself as a Writer. However, not just any writer but a respected writer. A writer who touched/helped people, because that is truly the only reason I write. I carried it from meditating alone in my room to my everyday life. When I met new people and they asked me who I was, I told them I was a writer. I actually went around conditioning myself to believe that I had already achieved this goal.
Two months after I adopted this "way of thinking and meditating" I was approached by someone within my workplace to have a meeting with them, to discuss an opportunity. Naturally, my curiosity got the better of me, so I accepted. It was that day that this individual offered me the chance of a lifetime. It seemed that there was a temporary vacancy within my organization to write and I was being offered the opportunity to "try it on for size" Believe me when I tell you that til this day, that entire meeting was a complete blur to me. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I didn't know this individual, except in passing, let alone the fact that she knew I loved to write. When I asked her "why me?" she simply said: "Well, I hear you're a writer and a damn good one, from what I've seen" My jaw dropped.
So for the past 10 months, I have been actively engaged in a "writing role" at my present workplace. Sadly, this opportunity is not a permanent setting however; it was the first real stepping stone to opening the door to my dream. To a lady such as myself, with no real writing education or background, it was a dream come true. I have been doing what I love on a daily basis, while gaining the skills and experience to now venture off and really do this on my own.
So over the past little while, I have been incorporating this kind of meditation as part of my everyday life. I have begun putting into action what I need to do to achieve my own greatness. What I feared most a year ago came to light. The life and the person I was 12 months ago no longer exists. Everything has changed. It's been a difficult and scary transition but it needed to be done.
Shortly thereafter, I began "LIFE AFX" My very own idea that both allows and assists new artists ( of any realm) to begin living their own dreams and making them a reality. An idea that will introduce new artists to the world. What I've learned is that we all have dreams, and sometimes it's just not enough to believe in them yourself. You always need someone in your corner who believes them too. I want to be that person for others. So this is my new dream and I hope it will take off and set fire to the sky. I hope that by igniting my dream it will also allow your dreams to come true too.
Today, I try to not only dream my dreams, but live them. I haven't exactly captured all of them in the realm of my mind or state of consciousness just yet-but it's coming. So watch out world!
"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us"~Ralph Waldo Emerson~
I heard the saddest thing ever yesterday. I was walking along, minding my own business, when I overheard two people chatting about life. That's when I heard it. The phrase that actually brought tears to my eyes. "There are so many people who die with the music still inside them". I immediately zoned out and thought about how very true that statement actually is.
I started thinking about all the things I wanted to do with my life, but haven't because I'm afraid of failing. All the dreams that went to death because people didn't believe in me enough to make them real. At least, that is how I always felt, until I heard that statement. I realized something. Dreams are made by the artist who dares to dream them. Only we can make them real. Sure there are people we encounter along the way who can help you make them possible, but only you can truly give them life.
There are so many of us who have hidden talents, dreams and aspirations and never allow their light to shine. So many individuals never hear their calling or do but are too afraid to work it. I honestly don't know what's worse: Having a dream and not living it, or never having the guts to dream at all. Sadly, I think a lot of that comes from upbringing. Let's be honest, there are parents ( or people in your life generally) who either allow you to "dream your dreams" or don't. I hate it when I hear parents telling their children to stop their "fantasy day-dreaming" and live reality. Or that dreams don't put food on the table/pay the bills. It gives an individual doubt very early on in their lives. That dreams are bad or that they will NEVER happen, so why bother dreaming them at all. These are the individuals that die with the music still inside them.
I think I've been both blessed and cursed in this area. In my life, it was an even toss up. Thankfully for me, I had a great role model and someone who truly believed that I could literally be/do anything I wanted in this life-because I was special. My Grandmother (Ernestina) was a pretty remarkable lady. She always told me that I had so much talent inside me and that it needed to be shared. It was because of her that I actually discovered I could write. So I thank her for that. I'm really very sad that she wasn't able to be with me and watch me grow up. I could have used her support in my life. Although there was a positive strength in my life, there would be many others who would come to diminish my light, as the years past. Luckily for me, the positive ones always stayed true in my heart and won most of the "inner battles" I had going on inside me.
Today, I say this to you all. Live your dreams, no matter what anyone else tells you! They certainly have no right to tell you what you can or cannot do. Nobody owns the true definition of who you are but you. Remember that. I know there will be times when it will feel like you will never reach your star, but you will. You just have to have a little faith and always believe in yourself-even when nobody else will. I don't know about you, but there is nothing that gets my juices flowing more furiously than someone telling me that I can't do something. It makes me all the more determined to not only achieve it, but to exceed their expectations. There is nothing sweeter than that. You know the saying: "Saying it best when saying nothing at all"? Well, it is very true. There is a great deal of power in that.
So if you're sitting out there today, reading my blog, I plead with you to think about your life. Is there something you have been too afraid to dream of? Do you dream but fear that they will never become a reality? Does your negativity (or the negativity instilled in you by others) keep you for dreaming or living that dream? Just for a moment ask yourself..why not? Why not me? Why can't this happen? Why shouldn't my dreams be my reality?
You must grab hold of yourself and promise yourself that you will never again live another minute in denial of your potential. Never again allow the negative voices to grab hold of you and keep you in a dark unhappy reality. Never again allow anyone else to dictate what your life can be or what your dreams are worth.
It doesn't matter where you come from, it's where your going that matters. Another saying that is so true. Too many people make excuses for why their lives have turned out. Too many of us allow life to break us. Of course there are always circumstances that cause you to scream out that life's not fair. Yet, in those times you and you alone, can truly be the only one to pick yourself up and carry on. We must, if we don't than we'll miss the whole damn show.
So stop making excuses about your failures. Stop making excuses about not realizing your dreams. It's not your Mother's fault, it's not your Father's fault or a lack there of. It's not because others had the opportunities you never had and it's certainly not about money, education or power. It's time that we stop blaming our environments for the end product of ourselves. We don't have to become failures or feel worthless because we were a part of a poor/bad environment. That is just nonsense. I really get frustrated when I hear people saying that. Empathize with your past and move on. Progress from it. Learn from it, but don't dwell there. That's just stupid. Take your lessons and make them the key component to your success. Allow your failures to be the fuel to your future achievements.
For if you don't, then you will just be another one of those people who dies with their music still inside them. And that, my dear friends, would be an honest waste of God's creation.
