Saturday, December 24, 2011

Tiz The Season

Being born in the month of December, Christmas has always been very "near and dear" to my heart.  I've always remembered going "all out" for the season and making sure that it was special for all my friends, family and loved ones alike.

I've always considered myself lucky because I was brought up in a family that cared more about the message of Christmas, rather than being carried away by the commercialism of it all.  That the spirit of the season is about:  Love, Harmony and most importantly, Generosity.  It's a time to truly cherish what you have in this world.  That instead of being consumed by what you don't have, we should be utterly grateful for all we do.  I know that there are some of us who have no need or respect for this time of year, but I truly believe that Christmas is a necessity.  Because there has to be at least one day out of the year that forces us to reflect on the fact that we are ALL here for another purpose, besides our own. 

I have always been very much involved in charities throughout my adult life and enjoy it very much.  There is a certain satisfaction that you get from giving of yourself to others that truly cannot be described.  Somehow, I have always felt that it heals me like nothing else can.  One of my best friends, Melisa and I, always try to make a point of becoming part of something charitable during this time of year.  Food banks, Soup Kitchens etc.  We're not always successful, because thankfully there are many, many individuals who have the same idea.  So we are constantly being put on a "never-ending" waiting list each year, waiting patiently for our name to be called.  We may not get the opportunity to become involved however like anything else, it's the thought that counts.  We care enough about our society to want to give back. 

Thoughts of this nature, I believe, are instilled.  After all, the cliche that "Charity begins at home" came from somewhere.  It is a direct measure of how you were raised and what the belief system is in each household.  Thankfully, I was always very lucky to be surrounded by great people, who had a passion for helping others.  As far back as I can remember, I always watched on as my Father gave of himself in every way.  Whether it was for a stranger or someone he knew, he always made time to help someone in need.  My Mother was also of a like mind.  Sadly, a lot of what they have done has gone un-noticed and un-appreciated which I must confess has always bothered me.  However, they always taught my brothers and I that charity (in any form) is not about "being noticed" but rather about a feeling within your heart to do what's right.  That each good deed gives you an inner glow and ignites an indescribable fire within your heart. I cannot tell you how true that is. 

So each Christmas, when you consumed with the "hustle and bustle" of the season, stop just for a moment and ask yourself this question:  "Have I helped anyone this year, for now reason?"  If the answer is no, than I challenge you to drop what you're doing and rectify that-immediately! 

As human beings we have a direct responsibility to help others.  I don't care who you are, where you are or what situation you find yourself a part of, there is no excuse not to.  The message should be simple:  LOVE OTHERS!!!

This year has been especially emotional for me.  I've literally had to start all over again, in every aspect and area of my life.  So, needless to say, it's been a tough transition.  However, thanks to all my treasured loved ones (which definitely includes all of you, my fans) I am pulling myself up by my bootstraps and getting stronger every day.  There are days when I feel helpless and scared but it passes.  I know that the choices I've made, that have led me here (however difficult they were to make/see through) were good ones.  I know that I will be fine, it just takes time.

Yet, in the same respect, I cannot tell you what an incredible year this has also been.  I have learned so much.  I know have a better understanding of who I am and what I truly want within this life.  Something that was rather sketchy before.  I am so grateful to God for all that I have.  For bringing all of you into my life.  Finally, I truly cannot believe that LIFE AFX has survived it's first year out into the world.  However, I'm thrilled that it has and am looking forward to "Year # 2" and all it brings with it.
I know that all of this would never be possible without all of you.  So I am forever indebted to my public for loving my words!  I'd be nothing without you!

I wish you all the Happiest of Holidays!  May you all be wrapped up and cozy in the presence of family, love, health and joy-forever! 

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Alessia Deana Morisani

I heard somewhere once, that when you die there is a little pond one must walk through, before you enter heaven.  It's a ritual every human being must go through in order to transcend from human form back to angelic presence.  That the pond washes away all sins and bad experiences you had on earth, and only leaves the good.  And all that you remember is love. 

If this is true (which I believe it is) then on October 9, 2011, was the day that Alessia Morisani became an Angel.  However, to all of us, she already had her wings long before she ever left.


I bet that you never anticipated that at the age of 18 your name would be in lights.  That all those who knew you would be carrying a picture of you with them (in some form or fashion) for the rest of their days.  And that all those who didn't know you, wished they had.  Nevertheless, your spirit has joined these two groups of people and merged them into one.  So now, because you lived, we all knew you (in the very most intimate of details), we all loved you and we are all empty because you're gone.

Today, I pay tribute to you. 

I have contemplated how I would do this for the past two months, since you left.  Would it be a sad goodbye, filled with tearful/painful memories that all your loved ones knew; or a factual one going over the horrible details of how you were taken from our lives?  I decided against both. So I celebrated your life today instead.

It's hard at times to take events like this and try and find the meaning behind it all.  I've had to learn to accept that in life, at times, there aren't any "real reasons" why.  Sometimes, things "just happen"  However, yours was not one of those times.  Although I am heartbroken and devastated to not have you here, it took you leaving to change my own life in a million ways.  Funny isn't it?  That it always takes someones life to end to teach those who remain how to actually live. 

You've made me stop to "smell the roses" everyday.  I know there is nothing more important than to find time to "enjoy my life" and all those who celebrates me, on a daily basis.  That each moment we laugh, smile and share with one another are the only ones that should be repeated continuously.  That negative times should never take precedence over positive ones.  That each day I am given is a gift, not a right, and that I should be sure to use my time here wisely.  That at any moment our light can be blown out, as quickly as the flame on a candle.  I now never leave a conversation or a situation without the words: "I love you" because we never really know if we will be a part of it ever again, until we are. 

There was a moment the other night (and many others in between the time you left till now) when a flash of your beautiful face came to my mind and a tickle from you ran down my arms, that made me sad that I am living and you were not.  But I know now that those visits were just your way of being happy that the lessons you left us with have been learned. 

I want you to know that although time will pass and I may not think about you every moment, of every day, that it does not mean you are forgotten.  Rather, it means that you have given me strength to be happy and live in your smile.  You are never far from any of our hearts, thoughts and dreams!

R.I.P. Baby Girl..mad love...always..Gia

This is for you!!!

"Thinking about today.. already feeling utterly sick to my stomach!!! Alessia's funeral. Today, she is laid to rest and forever in the light and grace of God. May his angels sing softly..beautifully while they guide you home, sweet one. May all those you've left behind, who love you, also find some peace today!!! Keep them safe, until they see you again. I look forward to sharing/meeting you some day too! R.I.P. Aless... God Speed... *tears* Gia

" Oh my baby girl what on earth am i going to do without you? I got to be alone with you for a few minutes and I asked you that question probably a hundred times and I'm sure you'll give me an answer soon. We talked last week about not ever wanting anyone to come visit us when they pass away but you my angel can come visit me whenever you want and i'll be waiting. David gave me you pandora bracelet ...and my heart broke. I'm so honored that he gave it to me because I know how much you love it. I tried to stay strong for you last night but it was hard. There were so many people there for you last night and there are going to be even more tonight. I love you so much and I'll see you again today ♥ Love your big sissy" -----Kayla Alessia Postiglione Morisani

"Heey girllly, i was just watching mtv and the music video for your song came on :)
we really did 'find love in a hopeless place'...never thought id get through this aless, but now when i think of you i can smile and have you as a memory instead of being sad, because i was lucky enough to be as close as we were with eachother ALL throughout highschool...we never ever once had a problem with eachother and always knew how to make eachother laugh♥
Me and stephy are gonna make cupcakes soon really really cuteee ones cause i know how much you loveee da sweeeets hehe love you so so muchh! xooxo ♥" -----Azzurra Dilorenzo

" Life means all that it ever meant. It is the same that it ever was. There is absolute unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight? I am but waiting for you. For an interval.
Somewhere. Very near. Just around the corner" ----Marissa Fanone

"Hey baby girl,

I wake up every morning to a memory of you, or always feeling to give you a phone call since it was my every day routine. Even though everyday we never did anything and always be bums driving around, dressing in track pants and trying to find something to do ... i miss every second of it. Every morning ill continue having those memories as those will be a part of me forever now. Keep smiling and help me get better and out of this body cast i'm stuck in as soon as possible baby girl..Your on my mind forever!
love you to pieces and miss you like crazy ♥" ---- Steph Power

"So many of us gathered today and with God and each other we prayed together for your precious young soul Alessia... taken far too soon from all who loved you and had the pleasure to know and share moments and memories... A kiss to you sweet child as I know you are blowing kisses of Angel dust from the sky upon us ♥♥♥" ---Suzie Ursomarzo Arkarakas

" R.I.P, may God be with you and your family, you will be greatly missed by all your family and friends" --- Angie Lato-Bernardi

"What a good picture of us baby girl.  You look amazing, Wow! I'm so happy we took this picture. Best Friends Forever!!! xoxoxoxo"  ---Sara Fonz

"Alessia my angel, you are beautiful inside and out and. As painful and hard as this has been, it was wonderful to see the impact that you have had on the people in your life, as short as it was. Know that you were surrounded by love from all. The two hardest goodbye's I have ever had to say were both to you and so today, I simply say goodnight, sleep tight until we meet again. I will love and miss you with each passing day. ♥" --- Eugene Ristuccia & Rose Postiglione

" Alessia, i wasn't as close with you as i wish i was, but you're personality has brought everyone together in your memory. It kills me almost every day knowing that you came to visit me on my 19th birthday.. after almost 20 minutes of convincing, you finally came in and joined the rest of us. I truly regret not having the chance to spend more time with you, but i know that we'll have that opportunity one day. May you rest in peace, watch over us. My deepest condolences to Kayla and the rest of the Morisani family." ----Daniel Spinello

" My beautiful angel,
I saw your face today for the last time untill we meet again. I will love you with all my heart for all eternity. I keep asking myself why you. There are so many who deserve death but you were not one of them. I'll always miss you, One day we'll see eachother again. I'll always cary the regret with me of not seeing you that last time. Know that I love you more than words can say. from your big brother Stefan ♥-----Stefano Hosko

" rest in peace alessia ♥ you will be missed very much by your family and your millions of friends! i will miss your jokes and your up beat personality. everytime i saw you, you were smiling and that isnt a joke, you literally always smiled. you were a great person and will be missed sooo much. i think that people need to realize when someone is gone you need to appreciate those around you to get through the tragedy. its unfortunate that life has to work that way but everything happens for a reason. One Love Alessia! Love you ♥ R.I.P." Alfio Foti

" Alessia, i know over the past few years me and you sort of dirfted and we weren't as close as we once were, but that does not mean i will not cherrish all the good times, laughs, and inside jokes we did have♥ you were a person that was able to bright up any room with your outgoing personality and your smile. You will be missed by all of us, but you will never be forgotten and will be remembered for the rest of our lives. Rest Peace Alessia♥ we miss you!" ---Matthew Giambattista

" Remember the day before I got my wisdom teeth pulled, you and I rode our bikes to the nail salon and got our nails done yet .... we had no money! Were fools, how did we go and not be able to pay.. We sat there freaking out about what to do. Thankgoodness my dad came to the rescue! I'll always have these silly memories of you and I will never forget them or the way you could make me or anyone laugh/smile. You were taken way too soon, but you are definitely in a better place and your safe in God's hands. Rest in peace alessia, your our angel now ♥" ----Bianca Cavaliere

‎"5 weeeeks in italy, and the very last night i got to spend it with you.. ran around rome searching for eachother with no communication.. of course our meeting spot was mcdonalds hahaha, after about an hour of running in circles i almost ran outta ideas of where to find you, then i heard teeeeeejay, and there you were with the biggest and best smile :) right away we found the best bar and you made... it the best night of my whole trippp, you knew that though. we talked about the millions of things we haddd to do, all night caught up on everything that summer, and you said a million times anyone ever hurts my TJ and i'll hurt them well now i know you're still up there watching over me my angel ♥ ♥ enjoy the party up there baby i love you forever." Joanne Taylor

"Life shouldnt be taken for granted, too many people these days take every minute of life for granted. You have to understand that life is very precious and a gift from God. We shouldn't waste a second of it. Even i waste a lot of time and take life for granted . We all have to learn from our mistakes. Death brings us together but actions we do make who we are. We all miss you Alessia and hope the best for your family. R.I.P. :( ♥" ----Nima Niknejad

" alessia ur an awsome person. i remember wen u and kristina would come to me and alyssa's place and as soon as u walked in the door u would look at my mom and say to my mom that she was ur mom away from home. u two were very close and treated each other like family. i still can't belive this happened i wish it were a dream and everything would be normal. now u and my mom are both in a good place.

R.I.P. mom, nonno take good care of alessia" --- Anthony Rulli

"I never knew Alessia, but I drive by the vigil every day and I can’t imagine how difficult this is for all her family and friends. I can see that Alessia was an amazing girl who touched the lives of many people. Sometimes friends hold you up, sometimes they lean on you, and sometimes it’s just enough to know that they are standing by. And I know that Alessia is standing by and is looking over each... of you; even after nights of rainfall, and strong winds, the large bouquet of white roses at the vigil look untouched, just as beautiful as Alessia. Although death leaves a heartache no one can heal, hold on to your memories and take comfort in knowing that Alessia lives within each of you. Rest in Peace Alessia Morisani, you are a beautiful angel." ----Melissa Castronovo

 "Tonight i drove by where the crash happened and its so beautiful so see all those flowers and teddy bears and just to see how many people you've touched alessia. There will be alot of people missing you like crazy but Alessia is closer to you all more now then she ever was. Rest in peace girll♥" ---Cassandra Coscarelli

" Hey sweetness guess what, I did my first walk today since all the yukkiness last week, i always say " you can always leave your garbage behind on a walk" goal was 5km and i did 10km first time ever ;)...and with my very first step to my last it was for you... thank you for joining me the last bit .. i was late for a call with my boss (performance review) hahaha, but ho-well, who cares right?... anyway, how much do you love bruno mars now? played it alot.. you sickof it?... "When i see your face, there's not a thing that i would change cuz you're amazing just the way you are" ;)that song is for you ....just wanted to drop a note to say thanks for walking with me , that was the emotional cleanse required, moving forward with every little step. love ya! Mimi (wannabe ur fave cuz) xoxox "----Mimi Malfara Mailman
"I never knew Alessia but when I heard about what had happened, I couldn't stop thinking about her family and friends who are suffering the loss of this beautiful young girl. You not only touched and impacted the lives of those who knew you, but also those who have never met you or got a chance to. My heart truly aches for you, your family, and friends. It really brought tears to my eyes reading ev...erything people have wrote about you. I hope that you give your family, especially your parents and sister, the strength to go on and continue with their lives and always let them know you are there. You are at the same cemetary as my cousin so I will always stop by and say a prayer for you. Remember, it's never goodbye, it's only see you later. May you rest in peace, Alessia. You truly are a beautiful Angel. God bless, xo "You don't get over it, you just get through it. You don't get by it, because you can't get around it. It doesn't "get better," it just gets different. Everyday, grief puts on a new face." ---Caterina Ursino

"I was driving by myself, I had to turn my music off because my thoughts were so much noisier than the radio. I talked loud so you could hear me up there and although what we talked about was for you and me, I want this group to know something that your tragedy unfortunately made me realize: life is luck. It comes and goes so easily- I'm trying to keep this as unconventional as I can- if the stupid, pointless, bullshit you re wrapped up in right now is stopping you from smiling, let it go. Don't waste your time being an ugly angry shade of red because your friend said something they won't remember in the morning. It's all pointless. Aless you told me "don't give a shit what people say". I don't, i am who i am and the ones who care about me will accept that. But You taught me more than that- your unfairly shortened life taught me start appreciating my own. Fuck, this is so hard I can barely type right now I miss you... Thank-you for everything" ---Paige Addesi

" hi pretty girl, just thinking of you as always. I'm really missing you, i wish i could have one more conversation with you and share everything that's on my mind. But unfortunately i have to just tell you through prayers and thoughts, although i know you're listening. i know God has a bigger plan for you than we all thought and that's why you were taken from us at such a young age. He's so lucky to have you aless because i know that no one made people laugh as hard as you did. i had a shitty day today and i know that if we would've talked, you would've said one of your really cool voices and made me laugh until my day didn't seem as bad. i can still hear all your crazy voices in my head and they still make me smile. only you would put a smile on someones face just through good memories even though we're worlds away. anyways cutie, I'm going to try to get some sleep, I'm still waiting for you to come see me! love you so much♥" --- Melisa Carrillo

" God looked around his garden and found an empty place. He than looked down upon his earth and saw your loving face. He put his arms around you and lifted you to rest. His garden must be beautiful, he always takes the best. You left us precious memories, your love with be our guide, you live on through your family, you're always be by our side. It broke our hearts to lose you, but you did not go alone. For part of us went with you on the day God called you home." ---- Rebecca Vasilovsky

" Alessia morisani is more then just a name. its a part of everyones life. you have touched so many people in so many ways, and knew how to live life to the fullest. gone way to soon.. i still feel this this is all a dream and I'm waiting for someone to wake me up from this nightmare. its so surreal to me and it is just way to hard to believe. words cant describe what you mean to mean to me . this has made such an impact on our lives and has been a huge eye opener. I wish nothing but the best for you, and your family. we'll be missing you. we love you so much aless! RIP, Alessia morisani <3" --- Alyssa Rulli

"hey aless♥
i know your doing well and i know that your there with me everyday.
i was walking down the west wing and past our old fitness change room and just felt like i hit a ton of bricks this is still hard, to surreal sometimes I'm half expecting you to be at the next party i go to
love you baby girl
keep smiling on us okay, cause sometimes we forget to smile and who better to remind us then you xoxo" ----Rosa Campagna

" I had a dream about u lastprobably because i was looking at pictures of you and reading all the comments before bed like i usually do.....i got to hug u in my dream alessia i saw you like i usually would at random places king football games french class in the hallways my backyard or with steph and you just gave me the biggest hug and it felt amazing i wish i could see u again and get hug your soo deeply missed i still cant believe your not here just waiting until i seee you or here that laugh of yours at a jam or around me i misss u girl heaven needed you that night and we all still don't know why is had to be this early but u were just that in peace beautiful ill see u someday on the other side ♥" ---Amanda Zappia

~ The Bond That Can NEVER Be Broken...Between Sisters ~ *Kayla & Alessia*

" You taught the world to go hard every day, because tomorrow might be your last. you've touched people who never knew you, or never got the chance t know you. not to mention the people who were close to you, or got the blessing of a life time to meet you at least once. it was really hard at first, but now its nice to live with a new perspective about life, live it with those you love and make an everlasting impression on them, so that once we're gone too, we leave behind many memories like you've left us. you're inspiring alessia, a gorgeous angel who I'm happy to have watching over all of us:) miss you. rip" ---- Amanda Young

"I just want to thank everyone for their kind words and support. My sister was the most beautiful person I have ever met in my life. Her smile could light up a room and her heart was big enough for all of us to be part of. I want everyone to promise me they will keep strong and I am praying for all of you ♥ Sisters forever baby just like I always told you. I'll see you again soon, I promise you that ♥"  ------Kayla Alessia Postiglione Morisani


~ Always remembered and Never forgotten ~

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

What Words Can Say

Every now and again you hear words that ignite and captivate your very soul.  Words that can never be forgotten or erased from your memory, once they have been said aloud.  It changes the very essence of the person you are, simply because they resonate deep within the very core of your being. 

This is why I love words so much.  For what else could possibly stir up a million emotions...all at once?  What else could compliment a melody or rhythm of music so exquisitely?  Nothing else could make you see reason in a world of things that just simply don't make sense.  It is why I became a writer.  Someday, I hope to pull this kind of passion through words that I speak...that I write for all of you.

Being that it's so very close to Christmas I felt compelled to share something empowering with all of you.  Something that could change or alter something within you today.  Something you can share with others.  Yes, they are words.  Yet, ones strung along together so intricately that they will make you come alive simply because you hear them all the time and still may not have rung true...until today.

Listen to the words spoken:  Understand them:  Believe them:  Make them a part of you:  Let them free you!

Sunday, December 11, 2011


Do you want to know what drives me utterly mad?

The world (along with the people in it at times) telling anyone that they cannot do /attain something in life.

At some point in the various journeys we embark on in our lives, we get to a part where we feel like giving up. Sometimes we give up before we even start and other times we give up just before we are about to make that huge break-through that we have been putting so much effort in to achieve. Now, it’s one thing to put this feeling upon yourself, but an entirely different one to have individuals voice it to you.

I woke up early the other morning to catch up on some writing deadlines I had. So I took both myself and my laptop to a local coffee house for a change of atmosphere.  As I tried to work my thoughts kept being interrupted when I found my mind wandering over to the conversation at a nearby table.  There, sat a father and a son enjoying their breakfast, while the son was eagerly telling his dad about his plans surrounding his future.  Suddenly, the son's excitement was cut short, when his father interjected and threw down his two cents.  Now, to give you (my readers) a little history on the earlier conversation the two were having, it seems as though  the son wants to continue to follow his dream of being an artist (painting). He was telling his dad that his school guidance counsellor had recommended that he apply to a school of the arts where they could help him shape and nurture his talent/dreams further. 

Sadly, it went from a happy moment into a cold lecture by his father, about what he thought about his sons plans and dreams. The first line: " God, you really are not going to even try amounting to anything in this life are you?"  Immediately followed by:  “Stop believing in fairy-tales. boy.  You will never sell anything you create, you're not good enough/smart enough"
At that exact moment, I looked up from my lap top and looked over at them. The son’s face/expression was beyond words. It was as if the fire in his soul had been extinguished, and I swear that if I listened hard enough, I’m sure that I could hear his heart breaking aloud. The rest of the conversation was one sided, as the son listened to his father. However, I don’t believe he heard much more after the sentence I mentioned to all of you above.

I’ve never understood that. How people can (or think they have the right to) rip someone’s dreams apart like that. Now generally, I know parents mean well. They do have their child’s best interest at heart and simply say/do things, to protect them from the bigger bully –life. At least you’d think so right? So I get that part. However, I still don’t get why parents (or anyone for that matter) continuously tell their children what they are (and are not) capable of doing. I mean, if a parent doesn’t think that their child can “attain the world” and do anything they set their minds to, who the hell will? Even if your child looks at you with the most ridiculous “life-plan” ever, let them. At least they’re thinking…dreaming of an exciting future for themselves. Maybe I’m wrong in this notion, but it’s what I feel. I know that if one day I am ever blessed with children and they look at me with this silly big grin on their face, while telling me they are going to rule the world someday; my remark to them will always be: “Damn right you are!!!” Whether they do or not, who cares. Just be supportive.

I know what it feels like to have people tell you that you’re not good enough. Sadly, most of us have. Yet, while some are telling me negative things, I’m lucky to have great people in my life who off set the bullshit! So when the world says, “Give up Gia, you’re never going to get this. You’re never going to be this”, my loved ones say “Try it one more time”. Thanks to these experiences, whenever I am surrounded by “dream bashers” there is a switch inside me that automatically goes off. Yes, it cuts like a knife when you hear the negativity. It stings every time. But each day, it gets easier and easier to bounce back from it. Then, once the tears clear, look out. Because there is nothing I love more than someone…anyone telling me that I cannot fulfill something. Not only will I make it but you better not be anywhere in my way while I do, simply because I will run you over with my emotions, derived around the adrenaline of my dream. A powerful sentiment, but that is just how it is. I have no time/use for this kind of nonsense. We’re all human beings…all of us. So what gives anyone of us the right to crush each other? NONE! A parent especially. Parents should always be in a child’s corner when it comes to this sort of thing. Unconditional love and support-period! Good sound judgment and direction? Always welcome. Making fun of your child and ridiculing them for having the guts to dream of being something/following what they believe to be their calling within this life? Unacceptable!!!

I found myself sitting there, while the rest of the conversation between the Father and son ensued. Growing more and more angry and frustrated with all I heard with each passing moment. Finally, it was over. I looked up once again, in the son’s direction and he looked literally beaten. Beaten by all the hurtful words that were said. His reality as he knew it, crushed and forever tarnished. What made it worse, was that the Father (on occasion) emphasized his words to his son with laughter, while he told him that his dreams would only ever be that… a dream. Well, I had had enough. I ejected the CD that I was listening to from my lap top. Placed it in my hand and began to pack up my things, to leave for work.
As I put on my coat and picked up my things, I realized that I had tears in my eyes. For this was a road that I had been down MANY, many times in my life while following my own dreams. As I walked by the two men, I found myself slowing down. Thoughts rushing through my brain at a million miles a second. Then I gripped my hand. “The CD” I thought. So I stopped, right in front of their table. I looked up at them and they at me. I took the CD from my hand and passed it to the son. He looked at me with confusion. All I could say was: “ Take it and play #7 for your Dad, very loudly. Maybe he’ll get it” I then walked away.

I wonder if they did. I wonder if the Father got the message, because I know the son would understand it once he heard the words. Then, I thought: “Now I have to go out and get myself another damn Eminem CD” After all, it was my favorite one! Still, buying a new one would be worth it. It’s a small price to pay for having a possible hand in “sticking it to the man” after what I had witnessed today.

To all of us out there who are constantly told that we will never be what we set out to be, I say "f*&k them! Never allow ANYONE to own your dreams or the definition of who you are.  You have a God-given right to walk this earth in search of the meaning/reason for being here.  We all have a calling and it's our duty to find it.  When we do it is our responsibility to grab hold of it and make it real enough to share it with the world.  So always surround yourself with positivity and leave the negative voices behind.  Instead of letting ignorant people's thoughts consume you, let them fuel you and grab hold of the stars.  For one day, they will see you shining in all your glory.  Only then (when they see your name in lights and hear those around them shouting it) will they realize who you were meant to be.  They will try become a part of you then.  They always do come back.  When they do, don't hate them for being too stupid to see your potential then, but rather thank them for giving you the adrenaline you needed back then to make it with all their words of hate!!!

Saturday, December 3, 2011

First Dates - To Do or...NOT To Do...That is the question!

In honor of a brand new radio show beginning in Toronto tonight called:  "What The Women Want" I felt it fitting to dedicate this blog to it.  The topic of the evening:  "First Dates"

We've all been there.  The infamous "first date".  For some of us "lucky folk" more than once.  It's an exciting time but it can also be quite nerve wracking as well. 

Personally, I think that men and women place way too much pressure on themselves, trying to make sure that it goes off without a hitch.  It's natural to be nervous before your first date with a new belle/beau.  After all, the reason there is going to be one is because you really like this person, so you want to make a good impression.  Unfortunately, some of us become so stressed out that we loose ourselves in the entire ordeal and forget what it should be about - being yourself and having fun!

Sometimes, I think that we`ve got it all wrong.  I've always thought that "first date concepts" should come AFTER you've known someone a bit.  Your first outing with someone should be spontaneous and fun.  So why not try this instead: 

If you're out somewhere with friends and you've spent the last half hour talking to someone that's caught your eye, leave and go have breakfast somewhere.  Or if you've been making small talk with someone as your searching for your next favourite book or food item on a shelf, go grab a Latte and get to know one another, right then and there.  I mean you know that there is some kind of attraction or connection between one another, so why waste time exchanging numbers that you will probably loose or change your mind about by the time you get home.  Just do it now.  Have that time to connect. 

Once you've done that and gotten to know one another a little, THEN you can plan for your first "official outing" together.  This way, the pressure is completely off because you've already spent time together.  So you know what you like to talk about.  You already know what you both like to do for fun.  Where you both like to go and spend time.  There will be no need to put on a front because you will already be more than comfortable to just be "yourself"

Which ever way you choose to do it, here are some "Gia Tips" on first dates:

For The Guys:
  • Before meeting a lady for your date, stop off and pick up a small token or gesture for her.  Trust me, it's a very nice touch and she will think it's incredibly sweet.  I know, it may sound corny and a bit old-fashioned, but put in that tiny effort to show women that chivalry is NOT dead! 
Now fellas, don't get the wrong idea here.  I'm not telling you to go out and buy her a 100 ml bottle of Channel No. 5, by any means.  Simply something small, relevant perhaps to something you talked about.  I remember once telling two different men (during a conversation we had, while getting to know more about one another) that I loved scented candles and flowers. When I had my "official date" with them, they remembered my "likes" and one showed up with a candle for me.  On another occasion, the other came with one simple daisy.  See, sometimes, it just goes to show you that you don`t need to come with a dozen roses.  Sometimes, one is all you need!  I thought both gestures were incredibly sweet and more importantly, I was utterly impressed that they actually listened to what had said.

  • Dress the part for your outing. 
Guys, this means being mindful of the setting of your date.  If you're going out somewhere classy, dress for it.  There is a time and place for ripped/worn jeans and a twelve o'clock shadow, and it's not to a gala party.

  • Don't let your head turn into a "bauble head doll"
Listen guys, if you're with us, then be WITH US.  It's not only bad manners to turn and really gawk at other women when you're on a date, it's rude and hurtful as hell.  Yes, we are all human beings and there is plenty of eye-candy around town, but hey, don't do it when she's around.  It's not classy.

  • Avoid talking about yourself
It's great to be yourself on any date, but don't forget to give the other party a chance to speak.  Keep the conversation light and comfortable.

  • Make another date
If by the time you reach the end of your date, you find that you've really had a good time with this person and the vibe feels good-make another date.  Why wait! 

  • No "tongue hockey" necessary
A simple hug (and or) kiss goodnight (on the cheek) is more than enough for a first date.  You will have plenty of time for a more passionate send off in dates to come.  Besides, this is always the second most awkward time of the date, next to the first sighting, so leave it to when you're comfortable.

For The Gals:

  • Don`t be late
There is nothing more nerve wracking than someone having to wait for you or feeling that you are being rushed to get yourself ready.  Give yourself ample time to prepare.  Besides, it`s about damn time we crush that age old cliche that men have about us needing 5-hours to get ready. 

  • Make a decision
If your guy decided that he wanted to have your input on where to go on your date, when he asks you, don`t say:  ``I dunno, whatever you want to do is fine with me`` Take the opportunity to show him that you are more than capable of making a spontaneous decision.  So make it!  Suggest something fun OR something you know that he will love to do. This will set a mood for the rest of the date and it will leave him knowing that you actually paid attention to his `likes``also. 

  • Order thoughtfully
Ladies, do not go out to dinner with a man and feel the need to order the most expensive bottle of wine or food item available on the menu.  It may send a negative message to your date, not to mention a pre-conceived notion about your character.  So there is no need to order the `Lobster bisque`` or the `$260 dollar bottle of Belvedere. The $170 bottle of Rosé Moet will do just fine lol.  (just kidding, but you get my point) 
  • Chivalry works both ways
When the bill comes, at least make an attempt to reach for your purse.  Ladies, we all know that it`s more than likely you will NOT have to spring for the tab, but at least show him that you are ready and willing to offer.  It illustrates respect, character and most importantly, that you didn`t just come out for a free meal. But rather because you wanted to spend some time getting to know him.

  • Leave the past behind
Ladies, there is nothing that will kill a mood more than bringing past drama or baggage with you on your date.  So make peace with your past prior to venturing out to new horizons.  Your date doesn`t need to hear about your detailed and sorted past.  Instead, concentrate on what`s ahead rather than continuing to live in your previous relationship and bringing him along for the trip.

  • Don`t Make Him Sweat The Goodbye
When your date is over and you`ve had a nice time with him, let him know.  He`ll appreciate knowing that his efforts have gone noticed and it will make the awkwardness of planning a possible second date vanish.  Take the initiative and tell him that you`ll call him to plan something else soon, and move in for a hug.  Hey, we`re nearing 2012, isn`t it time we make the first move

Regardless of the negative reputation that dating gets on occasion, it`s a fun, exciting and happy moment in your life.  Make the most of it.  If you`re lucky you may create a memory that you can share with your kids someday.  Or, at the very least moments you can laugh about with your friends later on in life.  Either way, you`ve put yourself out there.  If it works out, fantastic.  If it doesn`t, oh well. At least you tired.  Most importantly, never lose sight of the fact that it should be fun and easy.  After all, if it`s neither of these things...why do it